Rynn~chan

And that's what best friend for :)

2011-11-21T16:20:00.001+08:00

Best friends don't kiss ass. They'll criticize you when you did wrong, the same way your enemies would do. The difference is, they do it cause they care. Sebab prihatin. If you can't handle it, then why bother having best friends? You can just have friends, right? Friends yang hanya akan bersuka-ria dengan kamu. Okay la mereka akan tolong bila kamu susah, but then itu saja ke? What if kamu buat kesilapan? Your friends will just say "Oh suka hati kamu la nak buat apa, hak kamu, your life". But best friends won't let it pass them. They worry about your future even if you don't worry about your own future yourself. Cause as humans, we make mistakes and often we don't realize it. Up to others who care about you to told you about it. If not, xde la parents selalu nag kamu sebab risaukan apa yang kamu buat. Betul x? Adakah teguran itu annoying? Remember dears, don't run away when people bebel kat kamu, cause when one day they decide not to care anymore, you lose. You will lose something precious.

Therefore my best friends, if I do something wrong, please don't hesitate to tegur me. Okay?
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Allergy to....?

2011-10-24T14:00:00.000+08:00

Sejak this few months back, hidung selalu berdarah. Xde la berlumuran, but still blood drips out of my nose. Especially hidung sebelah kiri. Minggu lepas pula demam, sakit tekak, batuk and selsema datang menyerang bergilir-gilir. Bila buang kahak tengok-tengok kahak pun berdarah. Adoiyai. It happens frequently in a week. Kadang-kadang setiap hari, 2 hari sekali, 3 hari sekali. So I told my mom about it and she took me to a clinic last Friday.

The friendly doctor asked quite a number of question besides checking my nostrils and throat. Dia tanya pernah x terjatuh and terhentak pada hidung before this. I said no. Katanya dinding belah dalam hidung saya dah senget, sebelah bengkak and so sebelah lagi air passage semakin narrow. Ditambah pula I'm allergy to cold (air). X boleh mandi malam-malam and pagi-pagi tapi kalau da terpaksa jangan mandi lama sangat. And yeah x boleh mandi lama-lama. X boleh kena air-cond. No wonder la setiap kali masuk kereta pasang air-cond akan tutup air-cond yang menghala ke arah saya, or halakan ke arah lain. X tahan angin sejuk kena muka >_>

(Credit: Thenoseclinic)

(Credit: Allrefer.com)

Oh don't worry hidung saya tetap mancung dan tegak. Hahaha. Cuma bahagian dalam je (nasal septum) yg senget. Nasib baik still boleh menikmati cold drinks termasuk ice-blended kegemaran. Hahahaha. A deviated septum can cause uneven air flow. So bila sebelah hidung lagi banyak air flow (READ: cold air flow which is dry - low humidity), lagi kering la membrane dalam hidung and oleh itu boleh bleeding. Whatever it is, I would still go to shopping malls dengan kerap no matter sejuknya tempat-tempat tu. Muahahaha.

Pelik kan, allergy to cold? Hahahahahaha. First time dengar pasal ni balik dari klinik terus search about allergy to cold. Rupanya memang ada. Nasib baik mine is not as serious as others. They'll get hives when exposed to cold. Menakutkan >_< Thank goodness~

Toodles~

Big Bad Wolf and his Minion who loves to read

2011-10-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

Tilts hat to the Big Bad Wolf books for organizing the best book fair I have ever attended in my life so far!! It was amaaaaaazing~ 75-95% discounts for all books. Such a paradise for a bookworm on budget like me. Hahahaha. I love to read books and I have a long list of book titles I need to buy one day. Who knows the day was last Tuesday 11-Oct-2011 :D

Everytime I went to the Borders and MPH bookstores, I can't help but to gaze at all the books. Hesitating, to buy or not to buy. The prices are a bit pricey for me I could only afford to buy a book for every few months. Okay I can buy a book if I want it at that time but I'll have to starve for weeks. Hahahahaha. Dalam hati terdetik, bila la nak dapat duit scholarship ni~~~~ T__T

But worry NOT!! I bought A LOT of books during the Big Bad Wolf sales. Tadaaa~

7 books for RM56 ONLY! Each book costed RM8. The actual price for the Shopaholic series is RM56/book and RM60 for Thanks for the Memories. I was looking for cupcake decoration book but couldn't find it. They have books about cupcakes. Well~ I don't need recipes I can google for them *muahahaha* I just need a book on how to decorate cupcakes :) They were selling some copies of Men are from Mars Women are from Venus too but too bad they were sold out when I was there :(
Not much books on sports too especially football. I would love to have more books related to Arsenal ~_~

Talking about that, Rachu lend me his book:

Currently I'm reading it ^_^

/hmm
I made a new section on the right of this blog where I put a list of books I have and going to read/re-read :) I would still read stuffs online especially about currents issues, health, world history, religions and etc. But novels and autobiographs are something I can't read online. Oh thank goodness, can't wait for Big Bad Wolf book sales next year~
/bye

Toodles~

The abduction of a furry friend

2011-10-11T09:51:00.000+08:00

"Save me Raha save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!" she howls for help.

Poor dear, she has been kept in the baggage for months now. Hot, stuffy, suffocated. Muahahaha. Baru hari ni I release her. Not back to her rightful owner yet, but at least she's not confined in a bag anymore.

There she is, sitting on my bed. Nampak macam betul-betul kena kidnap kan? Tengok la background yang buruk itu. Cat dinding terkopak-kopak. Hahahahaha. Da macam dinding jail pun ada. Tsk3~

The dear-Raha-please-take-me-home stare. What a sad look T__T

A birthday gift for dear Raha. I still have the Jack Skellington pillow you gave me. Hehe ^_^

Toodles~

Anniversary di Zoo Negara

2011-10-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

31st of September 2011 - Rachu datang ke UPM fetching me untuk dibawa balik ke rumah. Rumah saya bukan rumah dia LOL. Memang setiap Jumaat malam Sabtu pun begitu, bertolak balik ke rumah. Walaupun mata silau yang terrible tapi terpaksa juga drive malam2. Kalau balik pagi Sabtu, dapat bermalam kat rumah satu malam je sebab hari Ahad da nak kena balik UPM semula. X ke penat gila ~_~

So bertuahnya malam tu ~~hero~~ Rachu datang, xpayah nak drive dia je yang drive. Hehe. Rupa-rupanya it was our 3rd year anniversary. Ooo~ sebab tu rupanya dia datang. Dia berjiwa sentimental mesti la ingat, I don't. Hahahaha. I even thought it's not valid sebab da pernah break up sebelum ni. Hahahahaha adoiyai. To 'celebrate' it we went to Zoo Negara. I have never been to Zoo Negara until last weekend. I love animals; going there is such a pleasure!

Geng model tinggi lampai :D Bawa payung sebab panas tapi x pakai pun. Thanks shade trees ^_^

~~Meow meow~~ Rawr rawr di belakang

Rachu nak bela yang ni sebab hyperactive. Yang 2 belakang tu bukan di depan.

Tertarik tengok muscle seladang ni. Berketul2.

Ikan besar xtau nama. Saya suka makan ikan tapi x kenal jenis2 ikan. Hahaha. Hampeh betul Piscean ni.

Seorang mermaid yang kepenatan.

Yang ini pula seorang shark.

Happy faces. Anniversary tahun depan pergi canopy walk di Sabah boleh x?

Model Zoo Negara. Hehe. Terima kasih sebab sponsor :P

P/S: Pada sesiapa yang lahir pada tahun 1961, boleh masuk ke Zoo Negara free sepanjang tahun ini sempena ulang-tahun ke-50.

Toodles~

A gift from up above

2011-10-09T08:30:00.001+08:00

Pagi ini, tiba2 terdetik dalam hati dan 'ternampak' jalan yang Allah tentukan pada saya. Masa mula2 sambung Master's Degree in UPM, saya ada sediakan a research proposal as part of my application procedure. Saya minta pada advisor saya untuk buat study dalam bidang penyakit bakteria pada tanaman tomato. By the way, I'm in Plant Pathology (Penyakit Tumbuhan) Department of Plant Protection. Tapi, my advisor rejected my proposal and came up with a new one. He wanted me to study weed (rumpai / rumput liar / lalang). I just said yes as long as I get to continue my study, but my heart was reluctant to accept. I have zero experience with weed. I was really hoping I will get to do a research on bacteria, fungus or virus. Weed is totally out of my expectation at all!

When I was doing my Bachelor Degree in USM (major in biotechnology), I had taken courses in Mycology (fungus-related), Bacteriology (bacteria-related), and Virology (virus-related). Plus, when I worked in Cameron Highlands for 2 years, I came accross fungal-, bacterial- and viral-kind of diseases on a daily basis. Siap boleh explain kat farmers ni penyakit apa, apa puncanya, nak sembur racun apa after diagnosis. Weed is not a nuisance for us up there. So bila my advisor nasihatkan buat research tentang rumpai, terus mengomel dalam hati. Mengomel kat kawan2 baik, mengomel kat blog. Selalu persoalkan why laa I got to do research on weeeeeeeeeed??

But this morning, entah kenapa terlintas dalam hati tentang apa yang saya baca. Saya ada baca 2 buku published by Sime Darby Plantation this year (2011) recently. Okay xla la recent sangat, 2 weeks ago. Buku2 tu ada sebut tentang 4 perosak utama kelapa sawit (Ganoderma, Rhinoceros Beetles, ~~Owl~~ Rats, alamak lupa satu lagi >_< ) and what they do to settle them. It touches on Integrated Pest Management. So, diorang berjaya keep the 4 main pest problems under control. Cuma satu je, there is this one type of weed yang mana a big problem in oil palm nursery, sampai tahap they develop resistancy to herbicides 4-8 kali ganda dos sepatutnya. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the best part is, my research is on THIS type of weed, juga berkaitan resistance to herbicides. Terus mengadu pada Allah minta diampunkan dosa sebab mengomel2 dulu. Terus bersyukur pada Allah sebab bagi saya jalan ni. Maybe bila ada publications berkaitan weed ni nanti senang nak masuk Sime Darby Plantation. Who knows?

Dan benarlah apa yang mereka kata. Bila Allah x beri yang kita minta, Dia akan beri yang jauh lebih baik. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Mengetahui lagi Maha Penyayang. Syukur sangat2 alhamdulillah sebab dimurahkan rezeki. Ini antara gifts from God yang sangat bermakna buat saya :')

Editted on 11/10/2011 - Rats not Owls. Owls digunakan untuk makan rats tu. Apsal la asyik teringat owls je >_<"

Toodles~

Marriage: A Dream I Dream

2011-10-02T21:26:00.000+08:00

I can't help but to think about my future, in the relationship aspect. I really really want to get married ASAP. Please don't call me gatal because every women (yes WOMEN, I'm 25 years old -__-) deserve to dream about their weddings. The most important person in my life, who is also the closest person I have is my grandma. She's the one who raised me when I was a newborn up 'til now. My parents were busy working. My grandma spoiled me alot being the only princess in the house. I'm deeply fond of her.

She's 81 years old this year. Being aged, sometimes she's not in the pink of health. Hence why I really really want her to be there on my big day before you know, go. And I want to show her my child. This is my dream. I pray that it will come true :'(

Rachu and I have discussed about our wedding occassionally. He sincerely said he can't marry me until I start working. The reason is yes we can get married, but we will suffer after the wedding. He'll solely pay all the bills, loans and expenses. Sigh. I'm not sure when I will finish my study. Still in my second semester of Master's Degree. Yet my supervisor said my project is huge and if my progress is good, he would like me to convert Master's Degree to PhD. Wahhhhhhhhh!! That'll add up more years!!! >_< I love studying, I do. But I'm in a dilemma if this affects marriage. Well I'm determined to continue my study no matter what happens. I'll just have to find a way to get a source of income. Hwaiting Rynn!!

So who I want to meet the most? I adore Arsenal players but they are not who I want to meet the most.
My answer is....my future children. Yes I want to bear and meet you sweeties. Just wait 'til mummy get married and.....yeah *awkward I know*

Rachu and I plan to get engaged in March. I pray please please please no more delay~
/please
My dad is working in Liberia. He'll only come home 4 times a year for a week or two. According to his schedule, he would come back to Malaysia this November and March next year. Can't make it to get engaged this November so it would be in March then. May everything goes on smoothly *prays*
~_~

Rachu, my best friend

Toodles~

What's in my bag

2011-09-28T21:14:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone ^_^

I have a random story to tell you. Two days ago I wanted to meet my supervisor but he had guests. Can hear them talking real loud. So I waited at the opposite corridor, in front of the lift, in order to watch them when they come out of the door. After awhile, the guests left and suddenly my supervisor came out of the room too. He looked straight at where I was standing. I was taken aback and quickly jumped and hide behind the lift T__T I am pretty convinced he saw me. That's the lame story of how I failed spying on my supervisor LOL. It's all because of my bright pink canvas bag that attracts almost everyone ~_~"

I carry this bag to almost everywhere whenever I go out. I bought this brandless bag at a charity shop in London for 3.99 pounds (plus minus RM20). To tell you the truth, I bought this bag as a wedding gift for my good friend. But sadly I was in a hurry and didn't manage to wrap this gift. And there is it, forever belong to me LOL. Sowwwwy~~~ T_____T

Let's check it out what's in my bag!

One of the most important things in my bag is my Harrods purse. My dad (or is it my mom?) bought this purse for me when we were at the Heathrow Airport, London. My mom bought the same one too. The price is 17 pounds (plus minus RM85). I extremely loooooove this purse! <3

Calculator I bring it along because umm~ I'm a student and I suck in math(?!). Hahahaha XD
Sunplay Powder White SPF47 Sunblock I will wear this before going out at noon or when I'm going to spend time outside (travelling, working, etc). But if I'm going to stay in a building, I won't wear this. I would still bring it in my bag though, just in case.
Palmer's Cocoa Butter Concentrated Cream This cream works wonder!! It moisturises my skin well enough. I don't like air-cond as it dries my skin. So whenever I'm in an air-conditioned car/room I would use this cream. I bought the lotion and I got this for free.
Cettua Oil Control Tissue I bought this at Watson's drugstore a few days ago and I regretted it >_< Should've buy Clean&Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets. Sigh. Cettua Tissue tears easily when I wipe my skin with it. Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

UPM Matric Card You know why. So yeah~ :)

ZA Pressed Powder Refill I prefer to buy the refill-type because it's smaller and cheaper. Don't need the bulky case.
Mirror This mirror is from Vietnam I think. My parents bought it for me when they went there. It is actually a compact mirror. I accidentally dropped it to the floor and the cover broke >_>"

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lip Balm This tiny stuff is a must-have for me! Same goes with Palmer's Cream and Lotion, this lip balm moisturises my lips excellently. It doesn't leave waxy texture on my lips like usual lip balms do.
Avon Ultra Luxury Lip Liner in Rosebud I got this from my mom. I used to love wearing lip gloss, but not anymore. I'm into matte lips currently. Just a layer of lip balm and lip liner and touched up with another layer of lip balm, that's all :)
Elianto Glamour Lip Shine in #08 It stays in my bag though I don't use it anymore. Maybe I'll use it occassionally.
Maybelline Lip Smooth Color&Care in Cranberry I hate this lip balm! Hurrr~ it's too waxy for my lips. I feel uncomfortable wearing it and it's not hydrating enough. Sigh~

Note books I have them because I always have something to jot down. Hehe~

Kibbles!!!!!
I keep cat food in my bag, just so when there are stray cats I could feed them. The brand is Whiskas Tuna Flavour. I love Maguro (tuna) Sushi so I chose Maguro for cats too. Muahahahahah~!!!

My old purse before I use the Harrods :P I keep my thumbdrives and some UK pound and pence in it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand~ I hide some money so that I won't spend it, to be used when emergency :D

Two other things that I bring with me almost everywhere are definitely my Blackberry Curve and my keys (Hyundai Getz car key, room key).

P/S: I HAVE NO IDEA why there are alot of pink stuffs. I LOVE PURPLE NOT PINK lol. It's a coincidence :)

Toodles~

How do you define bragging?

2011-09-20T12:31:00.000+08:00

Is it really someone boasting? Or you are clouded with jealousy?

I asked this question on Facebook, not looking for answers but I just want people to read it and ponder. Given a situation where someone bought a new car and announced it on Facebook

"My dream came true I finally bought a Lamborghini Gallardo!"

How would you react? Will you take it as he is bragging menunjuk2? Or anggap he's just sharing?

Well, sebenarnya terpulang pada setiap orang nak terima camne. If you rasa menyampah, tercabar atau jeles, you akan rasa orang tu berlagak. But if you feel nothing negative, you akan rasa orang tu cuma nak share je. Can't really judge someone's intention. I have no problem dealing with this kind of situation. I normally anggap seseorang itu share their good news UNLESS when they start to compare, like "I have Xbox at home I don't play lame PC games" etc. Oh and also when someone keeps bugging me with the same thing all over again that I feel like choking them and yelling "I KNEW ALREADY!" at them. Hahahahahaha~

However, it is not as easy when I'm the one sharing the good news. I have this feeling which I afraid people will misinterpret my intention. Unlike others who are keen on "ada aku kisah apa orang cakap pasal aku?", I'm a total contrast to that, in this case. X berapa kisah apa orang nak cakap about me in other matters, but not this one. Rasa sedih, takut, uncomfortable bila terasa macam ada orang ingat saya berlagak.

/please

Harap tiada salah sangka dan salah faham. Okie? Jangan mudah cemburu pada rezeki orang lain. Dan kepada orang yang ada nikmat lebih sikit, don't go bragging in front of other peoples' faces >_<

Toodles~

Rynn in London~

2011-09-17T14:45:00.001+08:00

/hihi

I remember now I owe you guys several stories! Haha. I promised to write about every trip I made. 2 downs, another 4 to go: London, Paris, Shanghai and Bandung. Today it’s time to talk about my trip to London.

Mari mulakan dengan introduction :D We had the opportunity to go for a vacation in Europe thanks to my dad’s company. They sponsored us RM65,000+ for the trip. We chose London because we have relatives staying over there; my grandma’s sis, aunts and cousins. Well, not really in London but to the south of it, Brighton that is. Visiting them was our main purpose going there so yeah. Qatar Airways was our flight of choice. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s cheap? Or maybe my dad wanted to try boarding it? He had tried flying with Emirates Airway and MAS before. Tambangnya around RM3,700+ per person pergi balik. MAS is a bit more expensive but that’s not the main reason why we didn’t choose MAS. It was because MAS has direct flight straight to London. Continuous 12 hours in the plane? Hell no! Sakit badan sih
/sweat
Air Asia is much cheaper tapi Air Asia x mendarat kat Heathrow Airport, but at the other airport, Stansted Airport perhaps I can’t remember. So hmm~ we departed at around 8:00pm from the KLIA so that we would arrive there early in the morning. We had flight transit in Dubai. O mai~ Dubai agak panas and berdebu (I mean berpasir halus) ~_~ KLIA jugak yg best :D I prefer KLIA than Heathrow. The security kat Heathrow super ketat and the airport is not as elegant as ours hehe
/wahaha

30 May 2011 – late spring. But the weather was so damn cold! Lol. And I just wore a cardigan over my shirt
/no
Seriously sangat chilled to the bones sampai rasa nak pakai winter coat and gloves but that would be weird. Mesti dipandang senget sebab pakai camtu in spring season. Hahahaha. We stayed at Kilburn, somewhere in the north-west of London. Aigoo~ too much to type. Can I cheat by posting pictures along with some short explanation? Hahahaha.

1^st day – just arrived, rest, Victoria London Station, grocery and window shopping

2^nd day – toured London, Madame Tussaud

~~3^rd day – went to Brighton~~

~~4^th day – went to Paris~~

5^th day – Emirates Stadium, shopping

~~6^th day – last day shopping~~

~~7^th day – departed to KL~~

*WARNING! Heavy pictures*

/XD

1^st day (31-May-2011)

Spent hours on flight sleeping, eating, watching movies, and listening to a wide selection of musics. The food was yummeh! Though some food we were not familiar with @_@

Arrived. Waited for a guy who were supposed to be there by then, our chauffeur hehe ^_^

Heathrow Airport parking lot. NO we didn't ride on THAT car :)

In front of our stay. We got access to wi-fi, gym, swimming pool and sauna for free. An Underground train station and bus stop are quite near too.

Jubilee Heights. A nice place, good service. Forgot about the rent price >_<

London Victoria Station, where we had departed from to Brighton two days afterward.

2^nd day (1-Jun-2011)

We bought Oyster cards for 17pounds each if I'm not mistaken. They were used to take the bus anywhere for free for the whole 7 days

Primark. You have to shop here when you come to London! It's at the Oxford Street. Cheap clothes, shoes, accessories. Really really worth your money

Trafalgar Square

Big Bus Tours for London touring

On the open top double decker bus

The old double decker bus. They are using the new ones, HYBRID :)

Big Ben

The London Bridge at the background

On the river cruise

The London Eye

Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament

Lunch. Lupa lak nama restoran ni but it's next to Madame Tussaud

Cristiano Ronaldo (L) David Beckham (R)

5^th day (4-Jun-2011)

Neighbourhood in Highbury. Lovely!

A park in Highbury. We came here by bus and "marched on" to the Emirates Stadium haha

View membelakangi Clock End Bridge aka The Danny Fiszman Bridge

Walking on the Clock End Bridge aka the Danny Fiszman bridge

I was there!

/wahaha

/blush

Arsenal Museum. ALL ARSENAL FANS MUST GO IN HERE!! Entrance fee is 6 pounds.

A very interesting place to be! I took a lot of pictures but it takes time to upload them. Go to my Facebook album to view them. I guarantee you you can spend hours in there!

Arsenal Museum - exterior wall near entrance

All Arsenal, Emirates Stadium

The Armoury, Emirates Stadium

Memorial stones

Personalized memorial plaques

Gooner for life!

That's all for now, thank you for reading~
As usual, much more photos on my Facebook album. Only my friends can view them.

/bye

Toodles~

Mission: anger management

2011-09-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

Waaaaaa~ I'm so sorry for not updating this blog for a long time. A VERY LONG TIME lol. I've been busy with umm~ procrastination. Hahahaha. Okay not funny.

Just received a great news. My scholarship application has been confirmed to be successful. Sangat2 bersyukur pada Tuhan! :') Remember what I wrote before? I was 99% almost certain that I won't get the scholarship because of my sucky result. They said those who get CGPA 4.00 je yang dapat biasiswa ni. And mine was 3.78 (tula sape suruh main2 sangat). Tapi..tapi.. dapat juga sungguh x sangka *cries with happiness*. I feel like God loves me so much. Bukan 4-5 kali da, but countless of times when I almost lose hopes, God grants my wishes. Banyak doa dimakbulkan. I really want to be better for You :'(

I've been terrible before. I'm not going to write it here cause it's very embarassing :( Agak mengaibkan. Haih. A sinner who wants to be forgiven. I have to do something with my patience limit. You know la I'm someone who gets aggravated easily, cepat marah but cepat reda. Seriously, cepat cool as fast as seconds and minutes. And then I forget why I got pissed off -_____-" The good thing is I forgive and forget easily. Don't really know how to hate anyone. When I lose my temper, I hate someone but then after awhile I don't despise them anymore. Like nothing happened before. Adoiyai. The bad thing is I cepat marah lor. And when I'm annoyed I whine like a machine gun. X percaya tanya Rachu. Hahahahahahahaha. That ain't good right?

Well, there you go. Not sure if I can change it or not. I was a gadis ayu before. Lemah-lembut, sopan-santun, you name it. Selalu pendam perasaan. But it's not good for my emotional health. I became more and more timid. Menderita sorang2, continuously emotionally harmed and bullied.

But I began to change when I was in Cameron Highlands. I started to became outspoken. When I don't like what someone did to me, I say right to their faces. AKAN TETAPI (eceh!) pada lelaki sahaja. Oh pada perempuan yg rapat sahaja juga. Yela pompuan tend to berdendam, menakutkan betul. Kalau tegur mesti kena sentap :( Hence why I only open up to close girl friends je. Bila fikir2 balik, it's a good thing to do. Why pendam sorang2 tapi orang yg hurt my feelings tu xrasa pape pun. Then they'll make the same mistakes again. Lebih baik berterus-terang kan?

I have a way of telling someone I dislike what they did too. Won't tell them face to face. I prefer to write to them. Bila berjumpa, people will cut off when I'm talking and I don't like it. X suka orang menyampuk, especially when I'm explaining all the points. It tends to lead to argument. Haih haih. Thus I rather write a looong message with all my points to them. Better that way.

Typical me though, I write/type more than I speak. Hehe ^_^

Hwaiting Rynn!! Control your anger :D

P/S: Gambar raya sempena Hari Raya yang lepas. Xde kaitan dengan post ni but who cares~ :P

Toodles~

How do you define 'kebahagiaan'?

2011-08-17T20:32:00.002+08:00

'Kebahagiaan' in the aspect of love.

We have heard about "letting go of someone we love for the sake of their happiness". I absolutely disagree. Seriously? Lepaskan someone demi kebahagiaan dia?? As simple as that?? If you love someone so much, you shouldn't let her go that easily. Fight for it, be the HERO of your OWN love life. How can you let your princess go. What if she falls to be a victim of a villain? Remember, she didn't move away from you because she has someone else. She moved away from you because you neglected her. If letting her go seems fine to you, sorry to say that means you don't love her enough. Maybe you don't even love her.

Same goes with "let her go, if she comes back, she's yours". You already abandoned her and that's why she left. And what makes you think abandoning her again when she's away will make her come back? She's not a cat and you're not her owner with cans of cat food. She's a human who has delicate feelings. She may come back if you show her how much she meant to you. Win her heart; the same way you lost her heart. Prove to her that you appreciate her and miss her. That's all.

Love life may be a far cry from a fairy tale. But that doesn't mean you can't create your own fairy tale. Every relationship have ups and downs. Sedangkan hubungan dalam keluarga pun banyak dugaan, inikan pula pasangan bercinta. Hehe. If you want to talk to her, just say all you want. You don't have to announce to the world that you have something to tell her. Don't expect her to ask you. You don't bother to ask her, but you expect her to ask you? Tsk3~

Good luck!

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Scrumptious Japanese cuisine

2011-07-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

Yeah believe me, I have just started to develop a passion for cooking. I'm into Japanese cuisine. Oh just look at these beautiful dishes <3:

*bento*

Credit: thekitchn

*teriyaki chicken don*

Credit: ifood.tv

*sukiyaki*

Credit: eatallaboutit

And not to forget the wide varieties of sushi :D my addiction to Japanese cuisine started with sushi after all. I go to my favourite sushi restaurant Sakae Sushi quite frequently lol, sometimes every weekend, sometimes once every fortnight, sometimes once a month. I have tried making sushi at my friend's house and it was not bad at all! Hehe. The other dishes are tempting as well and I could not wait to try them ^_^ Well I think it's good then. I used to hate cooking, I just love baking. But now I would say the interest to cook dishes has gotten into me lol. You have no idea how many hours I spent on Youtube watching and jotting down the recipe >.<

Toodles~

Arsenal Asia Tour 2011

2011-07-24T21:43:00.005+08:00

Nike Gunners Challenge KL, Midvalley Megamall

12th of July 2011, Morning

*massive crowd in the hall*

*Sczcesny and Song. sorry for the blurry photo, I have a lame camera lol*

*oh noes me ish red ~_~*

*with the avid fan of Arsenal*

*I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant~ though I prefer the blue one :D*

Arsenal Training Session, Bukit Jalil National Stadium

12th of July 2011, Evening

*off to Bukit Jalil National Stadium!*

*here they come~*

*oh Arsenal we love youuu~ (giddy)*

*waiting for someone hehehe*

*happy happy*

AMS-AMG-AFCSM Friendly Futsal Kickabout, Samba de Futsal

13th of July 2011, Morning

*no personal photos by me, photos can be viewed on AFCSM Official Facebook page*

Malaysia XI vs Arsenal match, Bukit Jalil National Stadium

13th of July 2011, Evening

*with other Gooners and Gooneritas*

*we was there!*

*ready to sing and chant!*

*merasmikan penggunaan Knitted Bar Scarf :D*

Sorry again, no photos of the match. My camera is hopeless so I didn't bother taking any pictures. I really need a new camera >.<

EXTRA:

*my outfit on 12th of July 2011 - Command Zip Thru from The Armoury, Emirates Stadium, London*

Credit: Arsenal Direct

*my outfit on 13th of July 2011 - Goal Polo from The Armoury, Emirates Stadium, London*

Credit: Polyvore

So sad Goal polo ni da x dijual lagi kat Arsenal :(

*Thomas Vermaelen - recognize the book? :P*

*my book signed by Bacary Sagna, Thomas Vermaelen and Carl Jenkinson <3*

Toodles~

Natural Beauty Product: Apple Cider Vinegar

2011-07-18T15:47:00.002+08:00

I use apple cider vinegar for 2 purposes:

1) as facial toner

2) as deodorant

How to make apple cider vinegar toner:

Mix 1 part of water to 1 part of apple cider vinegar. You can dilute it with more water for the 1st timer. I'm used to it so I use 2 parts of apple cider vinegar and 1 part of water. Maybe because I have thick skin lol.

Mind you, apple cider vinegar is acidic (like lemon, lime etc) so you will feel tingling sensation when you rub it onto your skin. Pour some toner onto the cotton pad and wipe across your face avoiding the eye area. I prefer using cotton pad than cotton ball and direct application because wiping toner-laden cotton pad on your skin will remove traces of dirt, oil and make up.

Goodness of apple cider vinegar:

1) contains AHA, malic and lactic acids to soften and exfoliate skin, reduce red marks, and treat acne.

2) tones your skin to the proper pH (pH 5.5).

3) has antibacterial and antiseptic properties.

4) contains vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin A, vitamin B1, vitamin B2, vitamin B6, provitamin beta-carotene, vitamin P for repairing skin cells.

5) effectively removes dirts and sebum.

I use apple cider vinegar toner twice a day, after cleansing and before moisturising, morning and night. MAKE SURE YOU WEAR SUNBLOCK during the day when you're going out. Apple cider vinegar exfoliates your skin so it will make it a tad sensitive to sunlight. And make sure you moisturise after toner as toners dry skin.

How to use apple cider vinegar as deodorant:

Same concoction as the apple cider vinegar toner, dab some onto the cotton pad and wipe on the underarms.

Your body odor is normally odorless unless you consume certain food (e.g. spices). What gives sweat the unpleasant smell is the bacteria. The bacteria breaks down sweat into aromatic fatty acids, which produce the foul odor. Apple cider vinegar works by sterilizing the underarms (due to its antibacterial property). No bacteria = no fermentation = no body odor, as simple as that :) I don't like to use normal deodorants as they might contains harmful chemicals. Those aluminiums and etc. How deodorants are linked with breast cancer. Well, I'm being careful hehe. AND EFF NO TO ANTIPERSPIRANTS!! Antiperspirant is a subgroup of deodorant and it works by reducing sweating. That means it will clog your sweat glands and pores! My goodness we are mammals we are supposed to sweat, sweating is a natural body process for detoxification and temperature regulation >.< So why should we prevent sweating right?

My review:

It works wonder as toner and deodorant. At night after a day out, I would wash my face with a facial cleanser and apply apple cider vinegar toner. I can see the cotton pad turns a bit dirty. It's like I'm doing double cleansing. I'm glad to say I don't have pimples popping out on my face anymore wooooo!! I'll talk more of my skincare regime in next posts. One thing for sure, apple cider vinegar is one of it :) As for deodorant, I use it on my underarms and it lasts until night. However excessive sweating may cause a problem but you can mask the odor with your favourite perfume.

Toodles~

Credit: skinacea

Be yourself, show your true colors

2011-07-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

You're single and available and find someone you like? Here's a suggestion, be yourself. No need to be a hypocrite. Just voice your opinion. Don't hide it just because you want to please him/her. Okay you may please him/her now, but what will happen when you start to develop a special relationship with him/her later on? In a relationship where sharing is crucial. Someday you terpaksa berkongsi pendapat dengan dia juga. At that time he/she will realize "oh camni rupanya pegangan/pendapat kamu". What if he/she disagrees with you? Yela masa berkenalan lain, lepas berkenalan lain plak. To make things easier, show the true you masa berkenalan. X kisah la berlainan pendapat soal philosophy, politic, and whatnots, janji he/she will know the REAL you. Jangan pendam masa berkenalan, and then bila in a relationship baru nak voice your point of view. Kalau dia boleh terima xpe, kalau dia xleh terima and pastu bertengkar camne? Ends just like that? Or you prefer to hide your viewpoint forever? Think about it.

Okie that's all the random chatter for today. Goodnight~

Toodles~

Not so clean

2011-07-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

ENTER PASSWORD HERE

I'm addicted to......

2011-07-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

...the autobiography of Tony Adams aka Mr Arsenal! *grins*

Now I have something to do to fill my free time. My lonely sad free time. Hahahahahaha. The book has arrived from UK yesterday. It took 8 days only, how super efficient was that! Thank you Rachu for the book :D Will lend it to you once I finish reading it. Hehehehe~

Toodles~

The saga of my turbulent love story continues~

2011-07-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

So here I am again, talking about my stormy relationship with someone. I have wrote about this before, on how I feel jealous when he prioritizes his Arsenal friends over me. It didn't end there. Hence why I'm here rambling about this now.

I'm tired of hearing the word "sorry" over and over again. You just say it to please me but the truth is you never learn from your mistakes, don't you. Why is it when it involves me, you never really pay attention. Yeah I know you banyak berkorban untuk I, you spend alot of your time, money and energy to spoil me. I know I'm materialistic (all women are), but materials are not what we women really need. We need bloody attention. Am I merimaskan you? Control hidup you? Really? We meet only once a week. You, on the other hand, jumpa budak2 Arsenal a few times a week. Main futsal together, meeting, lunch together, lepak together. Ada I larang? Ada I control hidup you by forbidding you from seeing them? No? I don't mind at all cause I know I'm far from you. But pandai2 compensate balik la cover balik la by giving me more attention on FB and Twitter. Do you do that? No? You ALWAYS berhubung dengan mereka yet you say NOTHING to me dengan alasan x perasan. WTH! Okay I tegur then ada la perubahan. That's only on Twitter. I told you I'm active on FB. What did you do? Nothing. Once again I tegur baru la ada perubahan. And then about the accident, how you thanked your Arsenal friend but say nothing to my mom and I although we were the ones who suggested the bengkel to you. Da ditegur baru la cakap thank you, itupun kat Twitter. Helloooooo?? My mom ada Twitter ke? Then baru la cakap thank you kat FB mak I.

Now the question is, HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO DO THAT UNTIL YOU CAN UNDERSTAND???!!!

You jerk! You lebih pentingkan kawan2 than me. Am I invisible to you?? Is it hard to say "nanti I add, sekarang tengah busy buat kerja"? Tell me, is it that hard?? You're a human and human makes mistakes and learn from them. But you never learn. We shall never forgive someone who only knows how to apologize! Because it's a waste. Berbuih mulut cakap pun x guna.

Yeah I sedar I selalu marah you and it merimaskan you. Well, if you don't repeat the mistakes then I don't have to marah2. I'm changing can't you see? Dulu I benci gila when you smoke. Sekarang you hisap rokok berkepul2 depan I ada I marah? I da x potpet2 membebel you merokok, terima je you merokok depan I, now why can't you berubah and be more sensitive to my feelings??!

Fine nak delete FB ke apa ke buat la. I'm making it easier for you. No need to wait until Arsenal datang Malaysia baru nak delete ke apa. Let me disappear from your life. Senang cite. Just pay attention to your friends 100%. I'm just a burden to you. Xyah susah2 fikir nak jaga perasaan I da. You x appreciate masa I ada dengan you, so xde bezanya bila I xde dengan you. Apa guna I jadi someone special to you if diabaikan. Baik you kahwin dengan kawan2 you je. I don't give a damn about you anymore. Sekali boleh terima, second time jangan harap laa. Get out from my life!

And to any guys out there, ingat sikit. Perempuan demand most attention before marriage je. Da kahwin nanti nampak laki depan mata, x kisah sangat da. Nak merayap ke nak membiang sampai tengah malam ke apa, buat la. Masa tu xde FB ke Twitter ke xde hal. Xyah BBM bini pun. Kalau x tahan demand perempuan yang nak high priority and attention, kahwin la cepat2.

In this matter, I da fed up. Haih susahnya nak mula jatuh cinta dengan orang lain. Anyone tolong carikan pasangan untuk saya boleh. Hahahahaha.

Toodles~

Oooh~ my brother is a famous author rupanya O_O

2011-07-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

Warn you, this is a random rambling post.

Have you heard of FIXI novels? Me neither, until now @_@

Me ish so sowwy T__T xtau sebab x follow novel2 tempatan. Selalu baca English novels je >.<

Tapi disebabkan ini melibatkan my brother, I'll write something about it. So mari mulakan dengan apa itu buku Fixi. Dipetik daripada website mereka:

"Buku Fixi ialah syarikat penerbitan novel yang mula aktif pada tahun 2011. Ia memberi tumpuan kepada karya-karya baru yang bersifat urban dan masakini."

3 novel pertama telah pun diedarkan, those are Pecah (by Khairulnizam Bakeri), Kougar (by Shaz Johar) and Cekik (by my brother Ridhwan Saidi). Hahahaha poyo nak tulis jugak 'my brother' kat situ >.< 2 novel baru juga telah mula dijual Dendam (Affifudin Omar) and Kasino (by Saifullizan Tahir).

One day my mom bought a lot of newspapers, sebab abang saya masuk surat khabar. She cut the articles out and keep them. Sweet! If you google for "fixi cekik" you can find out that there are many reviews on the novel. I haven't read it and any of them so xleh buat review. Hahaha. Here are some of the posts on blogs about my brother and his friends and their novels. Keep it up!

By Obefiend: Serius Iklan - 3 Buku FIXI Sudah Dilancarkan : Sila Beli

By Lord Zara: [Ulasan]: Cekik dan Kasino - Novel Fixi

Dah! Bagi 2 je sudah :D Other reviews and updates can be looked for HERE

Sekarang abang tengah busy nak buat short film, kot. Hari tu menang pertandingan filem pendek anjuran FINAS. And early this year dia mewakili Malaysia di Miami International Short Film Festival. Cayalah! And semalam dia bagitau yang FINAS bagi RM30,000 dekat dia and his friends and duit tu akan digunakan untuk buat the next short film. Wooooo~!!

Everyone's doing great in my family, thank goodness for that. Cuma saya seorang je terumbang-ambing sob sob T___T When la can I have a stable life ~_~

Toodles~

Rynn in Brighton and Hove~

2011-07-01T14:23:00.000+08:00

So where is Brighton and Hove? Well, this city is located to the south of London. A beautiful city with such beautiful beach! We went there on the 3rd day of our stay in England, to visit our relatives. We departed early in the morning from London Victoria Station and we reached Brighton Station in an hour, I guess. I forgot forgive meeeee >_< From there we took another train to Hove Station. Aunt Nora was already there to fetch us wiiiii~

Heading to Brighton

Mom & dad at Hove Station upon arrival

Destination: Hove

We walked from the station to the shops and to Nek teh's house and to the beach. Not really far, the distances. My goodness when you come here you should go to the charity shops!! It works this way: people donate their stuffs especially clothing to the charity shops and these charity shops sell them to customers at cheap prices. The incomes are then donated to selected charity organizations. Although they are second hand items, they look brand new. It's a bargain, you can get your hands on branded clothing at very low costs. My mom bought Clarks shoes at a price of 3.99pounds (around RM20) and my brother bought a Topman sweater for 2.99pounds (around RM15). Muahahaha. There are 4 seasons here in UK, so setiap kali nak bertukar musim some of the people would donate their clothing rather than keep them for you know keep up with the changing trends. Xkan nak pakai balik baju season lepas O_O I can't help to buy something for myself. Hehe. Oh we went to a Peacocks store too. This shops sells clothes at affordables prices, but not as cheap as Primark.

Peacocks: where I bought a coat :D

Say hi to Aunt Nora :D

Take a break from shopping, rows of shops to go

Yummy fish & chips

Nom nom nom~

My grandma's younger sister lives in an apartment. She's the main reason why we went there. I haven't meet her for years! I can't remember when was her last visit to Malaysia. She really looks and acts like my grandma. Mestilah, da nama pun adik-beradik. LOL. Sorry no picture of her. I removed her picture from previous post as well. My mistake, I should respect her for not putting up her picture yg x menutup rambut. Me ish sowwy T_____T She's a religious woman, I should've not done it. Oh we met Mom's cousins too! Aunt Mila and Aunt Noor. Aunt Mila used to visit us a lot which she always brought lotsa chocolates for us.

Nek Teh's apartment in the background (if I'm not mistaken) O_O

Say hi to Aunt Noor :D

Say hi to Aunt Mila :D

Next, we went to the beach. The famous beach! Lol I can't help exaggerating it. But seriously, the beach was featured in The Damned United. The scene of Clough and Taylor strolling along the Brighton beach in The Damned United made me go "oh oh that beach I've been there!!" :D :D The beach is not sandy as usual. It is full of pebbles.

Brighton beach

I don't know if you can see the pebbles on the beach

Colorful beach huts

Love the scene <3

I dislikes beach but this one is exceptional :D

That's all for now. Will write posts on my days in Paris and London next.

Toodles~

How to bake chocolate cupcakes Rynn-styled

2011-07-01T12:47:00.003+08:00

There are 2 versions; with and without yogurt. The 1st recipe I used has yogurt in it. Unfortunately my grandma won't eat cakes with yogurt, she thinks it's gross lol. So yeah I found out another recipe without yogurt.

For chocolate cupcakes with yogurt, I followed the recipe from bestcupcakerecipes and did some modification.The actual recipe requires sour cream, and I can't get my hands on it. So I use yogurt instead. Plain yogurt. Okie so let's start with the ingredients. Oh by the way, I use measuring cups and utensils. It makes things much easier and more precise rather than coverting the units.

Measuring cups

Cupcake recipe (with yogurt):
3/4 cup of cocoa powder
3/4 cup of hot water
3 cups of self-raising flour
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of baking powder
340 grams of butter
2 1/4 cups of sugar
4 eggs

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence
1 cup of plain yogurt

1) Mix cocoa powder and hot water until smooth.

2) In a separate bowl, mix together flour, baking soda and powder and give it a quick whisk.
3) Melt butter and sugar together in a microwave. Once smooth, transfer to mixing bowl and beat until smooth.

4) Add eggs, one at a time. Add cocoa and mix. Add vanilla essence and mix well.

5) Mix in the flour mixture. Don't over mix! Maybe around 1 minute.

6) Put the batter into small cups. Make it 2/3 of the cup. Don't put it until full, the cake will rise and spill.

7) Pre-heat the oven to 175°C for 5 minutes and bake the cupcakes for 20 minutes.

Next is chocolate cupcakes without yogurt, just so my grandma can eat it. I got the recipe from legourmettv on Youtube. I editted the recipe a bit here and there. Okie now here we go.

Cupcake recipe (without yogurt):

Dry ingredients:

3/4 cup of cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 1/2 cups of sugar

1 1/2 cups of self-raising flour

Wet ingredients:

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence

3 tablespoon of melted butter

2 eggs

3/4 cup of water + 3/4 cup of buttermilk (made by mixing 3/4 cup of milk + 1 teaspoon of vinegar and left for 5 minutes)

1) Mix all the dry ingredients and give it a quick whisk.

2) In a separate bowl, mix all the wet ingredients, starts with water+buttermilk, vanilla essence, melted butter, egg. Beat it.

3) Add dry ingredients mixture to wet ingredients mixture and mix well.

4) Put the batter into small cups. Make it 2/3 of the cup.

4) Pre-heat the oven to 175°C for 5 minutes and bake the cupcakes for 15 minutes.

For chocolate cupcakes, I use cream cheese frosting.

Cream cheese frosting recipe:

110 grams of butter

170 grams of cream cheese

1 3/4 cups of icing sugar

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence

1) Beat butter until it becomes light, paler in color, creamy.

2) Add cream cheese and continue beating until creamy.

2) Add icing sugar a few at a time while beating.

3) Add vanilla essence.

Good luck and toodles!

Rynn in Singapore~

2011-06-22T22:46:00.004+08:00

We went to Singapore on 19/2/2011 yang lepas. Just for a day cause nak pergi Universal Studios Singapore (USS) je pun. We spent the nights kat JB, xmau bermalam kat Singapore sebab mahal. There were 9 of us, but only 8 went to Singapore. We fetched Uwie at UTM Skudai before arriving in Johor Bahru (JB). He's the one who yang x ikut kami ke Singapore due to x sempat buat passport. So okay, we stayed overnight in Suria City Hotel JB. Here's the link:

http://www.suriaresorts.com/cityhotel/accommodations.php

Klik kat "Reserve Now" and pilih date. Boleh tengok room and harga kat situ. Considered quite cheap sebab lebih kurang RM150 je sehari for weekends. Kami pilih hotel ni sebab dekat ngan JB Central and JB City Square. Jalan kaki 10 minit da sampai. Kalau pilih hotel jauh susah, nak drive ke situ xtau jalan.

Jalan2 pergi JB City Square and JB Central

In front of the Suria City Hotel

And again...

Daripada JB ke Singapore boleh pilih nak naik keretapi or bas. Keretapi RM3 and bas RM1.40. Dua2 ada dekat area situ (JB Central). Kami pilih bas sebab malas tunggu keretapi (setiap sejam). Naik bas SMRT warna merah, dia berhenti kat MRT interchange station. Tiket bas tu jangan buang sebab lepas imigresen Singapore kena naik bas tu balik. Kalau hilang kena beli tiket balik lor. Okay da sampai interchange station tu naik MRT ke Dhoby Ghaut station. Kat situ interchange MRT menghala ke HarbourFront lak. Lepas sampai kat HarbourFront, kami terus akan ada kat VivoCity shopping mall. Pergi ke level 3 and beli tiket tram Sentosa Express then turun kat Waterfront station. Yayy da sampai!!

Here at Level 3 Vivo City where the Sentosa Express is

To Universal Studios Singapore, off we go!

The USS trademark

Kami da book 1-day pass. link kat bawah ni:

http://www.rwsentosa.com/language/en-US/Attractions/UniversalStudiosSingapore

Chose 'Attraction Only' under Reservations. Lepas pilih date boleh check harga. Kalau amik 'Packages' dia ada sediakan makanan semua tapi ada yg diorg serve kat dalam kasino. Xkan nak masuk kasino kot. So better xyah amik 'Packages', amik 'Attraction Only' je. Harga SG$72 sorg. lebih kurang RM170 sorg la tu (1 SG$ = RM2.30+).

The main boulevard inside USS

Lights, Camera, Action! kat Hollywood section and Shrek 4D kat Far Far Away section are must-sees!! Battlestar Galactica roller coaster kat Sci Fi section and Revenge of the Mummy kat Ancient Egypt section pun must-rides!! Best best! Disebabkan semua free so amik kesempatan utk main hampir semua :D Kami x lunch kat dalam tu sebab mahal and diorg x bagitau makanan tu halal ke x >_< Tengah beratur nak order then bila baca menu ada pork, tsk3 terus cancel makan kat luar USS je. Kena tengok kat pamphlet yg mana halal yg mana x. We went out of the place and pergi makan murtabak kat Restoran Zam Zam, Arab Street. Pergh~ sedap gila pastu besar lak tu murtabak dia. Murtabak kat Malaysia memang cikai2 la. Hahahaha. Malam tu jugak kami balik hotel kat JB naik bas.

Battlestar Galactica in the background

The famous Restoran Zam Zam

Murtabak yang super mengenyangkan!

Yumyum~ isi x kedekut macam murtabak kat Malaysia

Ada peristiwa yang berlaku, it was about ke-kerek-an seorang pakcik Singaporean. But I'm not going to tell anything about it. Peristiwa x best mesti dilupakan :D Oh oh rasa macam balik kampung. Yeah my grandma was a Singaporean, sekarang Malaysian <3 Anyways, as usual gambar2 lain sila tengok kat Facebook. Only if you're on my friend list.

Toodles~

A letter to mom

2011-06-22T15:31:00.001+08:00

This post is password-protected as it involves sensitive issues between me and my mom. So if you want the password, you can contact me personally. Mind you I would not necessarily give it to all who ask. Just to certain persons who really care.

"Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious."

CLICK HERE TO ENTER PASSWORD

P/S: Sorry I can't make it into several paragraphs due to encryption. Hope your eyes won't go @_@

Toodles~

Eczema: From my experience

2011-06-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

A few years ago, eczema started to develop on the inside of my left arm. It is a skin disorder in the form of red itchy scaly patches. Until now I'm not quite sure what caused the inflammation. But one thing for sure, sweating in the area aggravates the condition by making it extremely itchy. Gosh~ it was dreadful! T__T But thank goodness it has gotten much better now. There are 2 things I did that seem to alleviate the problem. I used to be a bread-lover but not anymore. Read in a few articles that consuming wheat causes eczema to flare up so I took a defensive measure by minimizing breads consumption. I ate bread after every meals but now I scarcely eat bread, umm~ once every few weeks? :D The second thing is I'm currently using a botanic soap made of sage herb to replace regular shower foam. It works wonder! Free of chemicals that irritates the skin. I bought it during Pameran Halal 2011 in KL Convention Centre. Simple (brand) body soap is good too but not as healing as this one. Sage has soothing and antimicrobial properties, plus high in antioxidants that is essential in healing wounds and help lighten scars.

Before I have eczema on my inner elbow, I had them around my wrists. Okay I can't say they were eczema because I've met several doctors and they were not sure what kind of skin problem I had. It was a bit different than what I have now, some kinda dermatitis or what. I've been prescribed with many medications from hydrocortisone creams to potassium permanganate. Yeah believe me, potassium permanganate, that purple solution we used in the chemistry labs >_< Oh well, now the eczema I have is not itchy anymore, it is more to dark mark/discoloration. I don't think it's a totally bad thing, truthfully. Yeah it makes me less pretty than other girls but at the same I'm thankful to God for because of it I don't expose my arms. I never go out in short sleeves. No matter how hot the weather is I won't remove my jacket/sweater etc. And of course I don't show my bare legs as well.

For me, eczema is not a curse, but a bless from God that He wants me to tutup and jaga aurat badan. How I wish I will wear tudung again in the near future.

Toodles~

Forget what they say about Paris being the most romantic city in the world. Not for me!!

2011-06-14T22:44:00.001+08:00

I just came back from my vacation in London and Paris. I'm thinking of writing posts on each of vacations I had. You know why? Because I'm starting to forget about them. Yes I have pictures. But if one day I get to visit the places again, I don't think I remember how to, you know, roam through the cities. Hence why I need to record it. I barely remember how to go to the Universal Studios Singapore from Johor Bahru although I just went there 4 months ago. Sigh~

Below are some of the photos along with a super short summary. I won't be uploading much photos in my blog. They are on my FB.

On an open top double decker bus. My dad's aunt in the blue sweatshirt, her daughter in the denim jacket

Trafalgar Square, London

Big Ben in the background

Eiffel Tower, Paris

Emirates Stadium woo~!!

One of the places I love the most :D

Toodles~

Things around me that irritated me

2011-05-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

Many things pissed me off these days. I can't believe ramai orang Melayu (who agreeably beragama Islam) ber-attitude macam ni. In many cases bila ada seseorang buat jahat, people will retort something rude like these:

Are you effing kidding me? Seteruk mana pun orang yang buat jahat tu, x perlu nak hina mak ayah orang tu melainkan it's proven yang parents diorang pun teruk jugak. Even betul pun parents diorang teruk juga or bersalah, no need to hina2 mereka. Cakap baik2 x boleh ke. Haih. X pasal2 hina parents yang x terlibat. Don't friggin' judge people if x tahu-menahu langsung pasal mereka! Nak condemn, condemn je orang yang buat jahat, x perlu libatkan orang lain (which mostly are their parents).

That's one thing. Another thing is kalau nak tegur kesalahan orang, tegur ke arah kebaikan. If nak tegur perempuan x pakai tudung, ajak la mereka pakai tudung. Why with the "baik bogel je". WTF! If nak tegur orang yang kita x suka, just nasihat or ajak diorang benda yang baik. Kenapa perlu cabar buat benda jahat? Sarcasm? If orang tu terima cabaran and buat benda jahat macam yang dah di'nasihat'kan (kononnya) tu, x pasal2 tanggung dosa. So enough la with "baik melacur je", "baik bukak tudung je", baik itu baik ini. Are you being ridiculous? Baik ke tu? Haih~

Baru2 ni bekas PM kita Dr Mahathir di masukkan ke IJN sebab sakit dada. I read through the comments. Oh my goodness gracious sakes! Memualkan. Kenapa sampai mendoakan kematian orang? No matter how hateful you are to someone else, kenapa sampai minta orang tu mati? Ada yang kutuk2 Dr M and then minta dia bertaubat pada seluruh rakyat Malaysia atas kekejaman dia. Yela dosa sesama manusia x diampunkan melainkan kita minta maaf pada orang tu. Kalau Dr M nak minta maaf, dia boleh masuk TV or newspaper and minta maaf, satu Malaysia boleh tau. Kamu tu da kutuk2 hina2 Dr M, macam mana kamu nak minta maaf kat dia? Nak pergi rumah dia? Haih. Pendekkan cerita dekat sesiapa pun kita kalau boleh avoid kan la mengutuk menghina yang teruk2 ni. Terus-terang saya pun bila x puas hati terlepas jugak kat mulut ni "bangang" and etc. Tapi cuba untuk kurangkan. Yang penting saya tau limit saya. X minta orang mati cepat, x cabar orang yang kita x suka buat something yang x baik di sisi agama, x menghina parents orang yang buat jahat *sedang menasihati diri sendiri juga*

The latest topic is about harga minyak naik. Adoiyai. I'm not an economist, but I'm being analytical and realistic. As far as I know, Malaysia mengeksport crude oil (minyak mentah) and mengimport petroleum products (contohnya gasoline, diesel etc). Meaning we export unprocessed crude oil and import processed fuel. Semua jual beli dalam bentuk barrel (tong).

1 barrel = 159 liter
1 barrel of crude oil menghasilkan lebih kurang 73.8 liter petrol
(meaning 1 barrel of crude oil menghasilkan hanya 47% petrol yg digunakn untuk kenderaan, x termasuk diesel) – kiranya lebih kurang 50% or half barrel la.
Dengan maksud lain setiap kali kita jual 2 barrels of crude oil, kita beli 1 barrel of petrol.
Harga pasaran dunia ialah harga crude oil.

Berdasarkan maklumat yang saya dapat daripada CIA:

Oil exports: 511,900 barrels/day
Oil imports: 314,600 barrels/day
Data untuk tahun 2007. Yang latest x jumpa lak.

Kita import:
314,600 barrels/day X USD 100/barrel = USD 31,460,000 = RM 102,245,000

Okay sekarang kita kira balik dari ‘belakang’:
1 liter petrol = RM2.70
RM 2.70/liter x 314,600 barrels/day x 159 liter = RM135,057,780

Yang kita import bahagi yang dikira dari ‘belakang’ untuk RON97:
RM 102,245,000 bahagi RM135,057,780 dapat 75.7%
Kira okay la tu daripada RM2.70 yang kita bayar 76% kos crude oil, and bakinya kos untuk refinery, distribution, marketing and cukai.

Compare dengan kat US:
• Taxes: 13 cents
• Distribution and Marketing: 8 cents
• Refining: 14 cents
• Crude oil: 65 cents
Diorang lagi banyak habiskan duit untuk bayar cukai minyak, refining, distribution and marketing daripada kita, iaitu 35% compared tu us 24%. Ini untuk SETIAP LITER PETROL tau. And cuma ANGGARAN!!

RON95 and RON97 dua2 ikut harga minyak mentah dunia. So kalau harga minyak dunia naik, akan effect kedua-dua harga RON95 and RON97 juga. Tapi maybe subsidi lebih pada RON95 compare to RON97 sebab tu x naik lagi sekarang. Lagipun RON97 terdiri daripada 97% iso-octane (gasoline) and 3% heptane, manakala RON95 terdiri daripada 95% iso-octane (gasoline) and 5% heptanes. Meaning RON97 lagi tinggi kandungan gasolinenya so lagi banyak pakai minyak and thus lagi mahal harganya. Oleh itu harga RON97 lagi banyak dipengaruhi dengan harga minyak dunia. Memang la nampak x banyak beza antara RON95 and RON97 setakat 2% je. Tapi 2% pun kalau da berbillion2 tong berbillion2 liter xke banyak. So dua2 dipengaruhi harga minyak dunia tapi kesannya lebih efek RON97 sebab dia lagi banyak pakai gasoline. Sebab tu RON97 je yang banyak naik harga sekarang, and x hairan juga RON95 akan naik harga juga. X perlu terkejut.

And saya betul2 nak sekeh sape yang komplen harga minyak kita dengan harga minyak negara2 pengeluar minyak yang lain.

Harga minyak-
Malaysia: RM2.70
Qatar: RM0.75
Oman: RM1.00
Mesir: RM1.06
Iran: RM0.35

Kepadatan penduduk-
Malaysia: 28 juta
Qatar: 848,000
Oman: 309,500
Mesir: 82 juta
Iran: 77 juta

Simpanan minyak-
Malaysia: 2.9 billion barrels
Qatar: 25.41 billion barrels
Oman: 5.5 billion barrels
Mesir: 4.3 billion barrels
Iran: 137.6 billion barrels

Pengeluaran minyak sehari-
Malaysia: 693,700 barrels
Qatar: 1.2 million barrels
Oman: 816,000 barrels
Mesir: 680,500 barrels
Iran: 4.2 million barrels

Hello, are they kidding me? Setakat compare harga minyak je x tengok negara tu camne. Are they effing kidding me? Qatar, Oman and Iran my goodness! Tengok la minyak diorang banyak mana dengan jumlah penduduk yg banyak mana. Haih. Mesti la murah da minyak banyak penduduk sikit. X caya kira la. Cuma Mesir je yang betul2 kira harga minyak diorg murah walaupun minyak diorg x banyak sangat. Tapi tengok la politik diorang camne. Amerika tiap2 tahun bagi juta2 dollar kat diorang. Kalau mahal jugak xtau la. Malaysia ada dapat duit dari negara lain free ke? Tsk3~

At least ada jugak harga turun beberapa kali dulu. November Disember 2008. Hahahahaha. Bukan senang nak turun naikkan harga petrol kat Malaysia ni. Tambah2 sekarang ni harga asyik naik je. Kalau dulu harga minyak dikawal OPEC, sekarang x lagi. And kita kena ingat banyak petroleum datang dari Timur Tengah sana. Kalau da Mesir bergolak, Libya bergolak, Sudan bergolak, Yemen bergolak, ingat harga minyak boleh maintain or turun ke. No way! Demand meningkat and harga minyak pun naik. Income nak meningkat tapi produktiviti x meningkat camne? Kalau company swasta x pandai jaga kebajikan pekerja2 diorang, nak salahkan kerajaan jugak? Pekerja kerajaan memang lembab. Patutnya diorang lebih agresif especially dalam bidang R&D. Baru la boleh bersaing. Ini x banyak betul kerenah birokrasi pifpif! Setakat ni lecturers daripada universiti je yang bersungguh2. Badan2 R&D lain banyak yang lambat.

Like what I said before, SAYA TIDAK MENYEBELAHI MANA2 PARTI PUN. Hence why saya x mendaftar undi lagi padahal umur da 25 tahun. Sebab for me xde satu parti pun yang layak memerintah. Haih entah la. Saya tahu saya akan berdosa if negara diperintah oleh mereka yang x sepatutnya. Tapi kalau da semua x layak camne. I'm totally in dilemma. Satu pihak memerintah dengan makan duit rakyat, satu pihak lagi dengan pluralisme. Teruk teruk~

P/S: CAN ANYONE BRILLIANT DISCUSS WITH ME REGARDING OUR ECONOMY? I REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND MORE.

Congratulation Shida!

2011-05-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

For your convocation :D at last you got your degree yayy. So glad that I can make it to your convocation, although a bit late. Heavy rain plus gusty wind, I can't get out of my house on time. And yeah preparing the cupcakes took a lot of time. It was such an unexpected late decision. I was still baking when Rachu arrived to my house. It's okay then he can chit-chat with my mom while I'm busy. Oh haven't I tell told you that driving in UiTM Shah Alam is like going through a maze, confusing! Thank goodness Rachu drove the car. The signboards are hopeless, they don't give good direction. And if I remember correctly, there's not many signboards. We just followed a bus and lucky lucky we got to the convocation hall this time right. It was a new building. No wonder it's hard to find, still super new. But at least put the temporary signboards to guide the parents who are coming there >__<

Shida and I have been friends since we were in Form 2. She still looks the same to me, except that she knows how to put on make up now, while I'm still a comot-looking girl ~_~ Here she was when we were umm~ I forgot how old were we when we took this picture. When we were 18 years old I guess.

And here's the picture that we took during her convocation.

She's getting more and more gorgeous! Still gebu seperti dulu. Her skin is flawless kyaaa~!! See how comot I was. Sunburnt. I bleached my hairs naturally using lemon and sunlight so x pasal2 jemur muka skali.

The box she's holding is from me :D I refused to buy fresh flowers because they're overpriced. I know cause I worked in Cameron Highlands before and over there we can buy roses at RM0.20/stalk. Super cheap! And on lowland, especially during special occasions like convocation, the price can get to RM2-3/stalk? Cekik darah. Actually I made the cupcakes as requested by my brother who had fever. When I came home from UPM he said "kakak nak cupcake coklat" and I go awwww~ *melted*. I never bake chocolate cupcakes and cream cheese frosting before. So baking it for the first time and presenting it to someone on a special occasion is quite risky. What if the cupcakes gone wrong? Phew~ So I just gave it a try and thank goodness they said the cupcakes are good. My family, Shida, Rachu and Rachu's friend rated them good; although for me it's a bit bitter. I don't know why I never satisfy with the taste of the cupcakes I made. Tapi cupcake yang orang lain buat sy rasa sedap je, except Wondermilk.

Would love to make molten lava cake next time *drools*.

Toodles~

Entri kali ini mengenai Rynn dan research project nya

2011-05-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

Today’s been great. Bukan dari segi pengalaman yang memorable, tapi dari segi banyak berita-berita baik. Okay la I have to agree today we did had a memorable experience, masuk Kenny Rogers, buka menu, tutup menu, keluar balik. LOL. Glad that Nadz was with us. When the waitress came to take the order, I just glanced at Nadz and she just knew what to say. If I were alone x kira la kat mana2 kedai makan and dah diberi menu, I don’t walk out kot although I’m not satisfied with the price or something. X sampai hati T__T Hahaha baik sangat le plak. Omo~ enough with the long intro >_< Now I would like to talk about the good news I received today! :D

Met my supervisor (SV) in the morning and we talked a lot. First, we discussed on who’ll be my co-supervisor (co-SV). Truthfully I don’t have any idea who because I’m not familiar with the lecturers here, even UPM itself, and still not familiar until now T__T So I asked if he has any suggestion. He made a phone call to another lecturer and she agreed to be my co-SV. I prayed to God that my co-SV is as nice as my SV and thank goodness she is! Seriously I don’t want a bossy supervisory committee bossing me around. Strict boleh terima lagi but not bossy please. I don’t want anyone to force me around, I need my freedom ~_~ Okay next we talked about my research title and how it is going to be. The proposal I did beforehand is on genetic diversity of a weed, where I would collect the weed samples throughout Malaysia and do DNA analysis to determine the biotypes. That’s it, one objective. But now I have 3 objectives. I have to check on the morphological characteristics of each of the biotype (phenotypic observation), do DNA analysis to look at the genetic variation between biotypes (genotypic observation) and lastly test the plants with a bioherbicide and determine which biotypes are susceptible and which ones are tolerant. It is almost the same like the research done by a previous PhD student, except that we used different species of weed. Sounds easy right? I have a reference and etc. Well not really, and I’ll tell you why in the following paragraphs.

There are other things we discussed in the meeting but I won’t disclose it here. Too lengthy, and you know how lazy I am. Muahahahaha. After I talked to my SV I went to meet my co-SV. She’s an expert in molecular biology. I told her about the question I can’t answer when I was presenting my proposal during colloquium in plant protection class. Why choose RAPD over RFLP? Both are methods of DNA analysis, by the way. The previous PhD student used RAPD in his study and when I was doing my literature review, I came across a lot of almost similar work dealing with RAPD, and hence why I chose RAPD. RAPD is the simplest, most rapid and easiest method. Sampaikan the colloquium lecturer said “nowadays students always go for simplest way” T__T. My co-SV explained that the data of RAPD is not reproducible. She asked me to find out other alternatives (more precise) apart from RAPD and RFLP for my research. She convinced me I can do it as I have biotechnology background. Omo!

Truthfully I’m glad I asked the question although it leads me to a harder way now. It’s much better to change anything now before I almost start the DNA analysis, and far far much better to do it the hard way rather than diserang dengan teruk masa viva nanti on why guna method yang doubtful plus imprecise *positive thinking*. It feeds my ego too somehow. A master student doing a research as hard if not harder than a PhD student’s. But it will take a toll. Will I succumb to the pressure? Can I finish it on time? Our expectation is to finish it by the 3^rd semester. I just have around 1 year to go. Gahhhhhh!! I feel proud when people put high hopes on me, but I feel afraid too. I don’t want to disappoint them. When I think I’m disappointing them, I end up escaping from them, when the truth is they just want to help me. Seriously I don’t have ‘the face’ to meet them and say I have no progress or what. Sigh. I hope I can change the attitude. Macam da berubah sikit LOL. Masa nak jumpa SV and co-SV, x rasa takut or nervous langsung da tadi. Pelik, tiba2 je. Hahahaha. Well, it’s a good thing right? :D

Toodles~

Random update #1

2011-05-04T22:08:00.001+08:00

I'm super busy these days I don't even have time to answer questions on Y!A T__T. Nanti hilang pulak title Top Contributor for Biology. Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~!! Anyhow, here's a quick update of what I've done in these 2 weeks (although you may not want to know about it at all but since I'm too spoiled I need your attention) Muahahahahahaha!!

1) Went to Genting Highlands woohoo~! Da 18 tahun or more x pergi Genting Highlands padahal x jauh sangat pun. Seriously x sangka ada tempat macam Genting kat Malaysia ni. LOL. Universal Studio Singapore has thriller roller coasters but main kat Genting lagi memuaskan. Wider choices plus more varieties. Oh my goodness I missed the Ribena teacup! Ingat lagi masa kanak2 naik teacup pusing2 tu :') And the antique cars! I would love to show the pictures but they're not with me. Ada orang peram gambar kami :( :D

2) This week is the last week of study for this semester, and officially the most stressful week of all. For sure my face akan naik banyak jerawat. Okay correction. Not akan, but sudah :( My face skin is prone to pimples when I'm stressed. Sebab tu la sejak last semester in USM and when I was working kulit muka saya naik jerawat sebiji2 x abis2. Stress x abis2. Hahahaha. Oh well, apa boleh buat. Kena tenangkan diri after this week ends. Just had a statistics exam. Broke into tears once I stepped out of the exam hall. Hahahaha. Xleh jawab but nevermind. Kena tumpukan pada next tasks, those are proposal and lab assignment. Fuhh~ seriously I don't know what I'm going to tell my supervisor if he asks about the progress. Nothing LOL.

3) One thing that keep me calm in time like this is green tea frappucino. Seriously kerja siap banyak bila buat sambil minum green tea frappucino. Rachu bought for me 3-in-1 matcha but x convenience nak buat ice-blended kat rumah. Hancur blender tu kang. Da la ada satu je kat rumah. Blender tu la nak kisar cili bawang blender tu jugak la nak kisar ice. So sad :( I have green tea bags here in hostel but it's for hot water. Sekarang gila green tea jenis ice-blended =3

4) Made a dozen of red velvet cupcakes for Mysa yayy! Design untuk frosting kali ni ialah spiderweb. LOL. Need to improve on making this red velvet. Unlike other cakes, red velvet ni susah nak sedap. Ingredients for other cakes senang2 bagi kek rasa sedap. Coklat, vanilla, cheese etc. But for red velvet ni guna bahan2 yang x bagi rasa serba sedap. Unsweetened cocoa powder yang pahit gila, baking powder yang pahit, baking soda yang pahit, cuka yang rasanya ugh (seems weird to use vinegar for cake am I right?), buttermilk a.k.a susu yang dicampur cuka (again). Xkan nak berharap pada gula untuk bagi rasa manis semata-mata >_> Oleh itu, so cerewet sukatan and mixing kena betul. Baik buat souffle je lagi senang LOL. That's all. Toodles!

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

RM9 billion? Seriously?

2011-04-27T00:57:00.007+08:00

Please read the news by clicking on it before proceed:

Negara rugi RM9 billion setiap tahun akibat nahas jalan raya

Rynn: is this a bloody joke?

Friend: well considering the cost of campaign (including advertising through radio, TV, poster, or even campaign from place to place), cost of fixing all the road which recently accident, cost of investigation on why accident occur, cost of improving dangerous place which frequently have accident, cost of fire man, police, ambulance and road police (for overtime or people who work extra hour)... huhu that is what im can thinking about... other than this im not sure...

but yup i think 9 billion could be the right figure...

hav any thoughts..? lets share... long time i didnt here from ya... kind a miss you.. :-)

Rynn: referring to the news: kos perubatan, bayaran insurans, baik pulih kenderaan dan kerugian pengeluaran. setiap tahun bayar roadtax including insurans and kereta kita repair guna duit sendiri, they say it's their money? bullshit! fixing the road is our money too, dok bayar tol tu apa? and yet the road condition is still shitty. kita bayar tax untuk bayar gaji orang2 yang berkhidmat utk kita tu. what now they want a raise? da la kena bayar kompaun utk kesalahan yg x sepatutnya. seriously bullshit. i'm always here although i seldom get online.

Friend: hmm yup ur point is true, if there were no accident at all government can use that money to do everything u wrote up there... yet because of the accident happened so frequently that is why they have to divert all the money to do all those thing... :-)

yup we pay toll, we pay tax n everything, but u have to take their own cost into account too, like Plus for instance, they have more than 1000 km to maintain the road, they have hundreds thousand of employee to pay every month, so roughly calculation, how much saving they could achieve every year...? i mean saving to improve or to repair instance damage like accident... its likely impossible right...?

i dont know, so far the argument look really realistic n logical... so im just being positive of it... :-) hehe

Rynn: What the...? You don't get my point at all. I didn't suggest anything. I was condemning. Which part you didn't get? The list came out from the news, the gov. They said the cost included all those medical, insurance, car repairing, kerugian pengeluaran. My point is insurance and car repairing costs use our own money, not theirs! I don't understand which part of my sentences showing I'm suggesting something. The salary raise part? That was sarcasm. 1000km length of road and hundred thousands of workers? So what? Don't you know MILLIONS of vehicles uses the road hence pays the toll EVERYDAY and still not enough?!!! And yet they use low quality tars and stuffs. I agree with you it's good to be optimistic. But it's not good to be dumb.

Friend: hmm i dont know how i can make u see what i see... so i dont know what to convince u... yet, i didnt say u were wrong... just the place i work right now make me realize that everything doesnt easy as they see...

so skang cuti kn...? n probably u msk blajar blk on august kn..? hehe

Rynn: You may and they may convince me IF they clarify much further on the details. Elaborate and explain more dari segi how insurance, car repairing etc affects the total cost sampai jadi RM9 billion. Cause to me it's not making any sense at all. Seriously. I tried my best to be optimistic but I can't. Yup yup skrg cuti sampai sept. Lama gila. Hahaha. But postgrads xde cuti senanya, kena buat research :D

Friend: Totally...
so u doing what...? master or PhD right now...? mesti best giler topic u kn... ;)

hehe hasrat i nk smbg master pn xtcapai2 lg... huhu

(This conversation was taken from Facebook)

---------------------------------

I'm sorry my friend for my rudeness. But seriously I can't bear reading such statements without valid facts. What campaign of road safety? 'Berhati-hati di jalan raya'? 'Don't drink and drive'? That's all? I don't think the Malaysian drivers' attitudes can be changed. Even myself I've been compunded for so many times and had a few accidents but still I usually drive over the limit whenever necessary. And I strongly believe others are the same too. Mostly. Well I've said what I need to say. It's just one thing that amuses me. The place you work affects your perception on this case? I wonder how and would like to know more about it. I think I can imagine it but I don't want to assume :)

P/S: I'm not against this party or rooting for that party or what. I'm just a citizen who wants to know more about how whoever-who-leads-the-nation manages our money because it doesn't make sense. Don't just give a total estimation and ask us to simply believe. Saya pun boleh anggar kos nak buat 2 dozen cupcakes *sarcasm*

Toodles~

Couple??

2011-04-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

When someone ask me do I have a boyfriend, I don't really know how to answer. After Rachu and I broke up last year, we didn't get back as a couple (like how they call it) again. But still, we're so close to each other like girlfriend-boyfriend does. Yeah I know it's either in a relationship or not in a relationship, there's nothing in between. But I don't like the labelling. Seriously. Especially when a guy wants to go out with me (often just the two of us) and I agree and he asked "boyfriend x marah ke?". Are you kidding me?? -____-

1st and foremost, if I agree to go out with you, means there's no problem at all. If I have a boyfriend yang kuat mengongkong or kuat jealous whatsoever, I wouldn't agree to go out with you in the 1st place. In fact, I would leave that boyfriend, even better xyah couple pun ngan dia. Kesimpulannya, don't bother asking me "boyfriend marah ke x?". Sigh. Tapi itu la yang orang dok tanya. Whatever I'm doing if melibatkan lelaki lain mesti muncul soalan ni.

And that's not all. When a guy friend call me and I happen to be in a mall or somewhere out of my house, a cynical remark "dengan boyfriend la tu" will come out of his mouth. I don't mind if you ask "dengan boyfriend ke?" or what. Tapi bila sindir "dengan boyfriend la tu" I feel like choking that guy! Macam la I dok berkepit je dengan boyfriend. Even betul pun I'm with my boyfriend at that time, why with the sarcasm?? Sigh. I don't know if I'm overreacting but really, I feel quite discomfort hearing such statement.

Hence, why I don't like the boyfriend-girlfriend status. RIMAS! Bukan rimas dengan hubungan tersebut, but rimas dilabel, disalah anggap, etc. So I would like to clarify here. Rachu and I tidak couple balik. Tidak couple. Sometimes he introduces me as his girlfriend and vice versa just to make people understand. Yela kang orang mengata "cakap kawan tapi dok berkepit macam couple je", so kena la buat camni. Susah betul! But truthfully we're just best friends yang akan berkahwin suatu hari nanti.

Toodles~

How to bake red velvet cupcakes Rynn-styled

2011-04-23T09:00:00.010+08:00

Red velvet is a deep red-colored chocolate cake. What's interesting about this cake that differs it from regular chocolate cakes is the usage of buttermilk and cocoa powder which gives it the red color. It should be UNPROCESSED cocoa powder, not the processed one. Unprocessed cocoa contains anthocyanin that redden when reacted with acid (buttermilk). Whereas the normal Dutch-processed cocoa, a readily available alkalized cocoa powder, has basic properties which interfere with the anthocyanin-acid reaction. Hence why it gives a brown color in chocolates cakes.

I followed the recipe from bestcupcakerecipes and did some modification. I've tried looking for unprocessed cocoa powder but to no avail. So sad T__T I replaced it with processed cocoa powder and red coloring. And I couldn't find cake flour too so I used self-raising flour instead. Self-raising flour is all-purpose flour with baking powder and salt. So I skipped using salt and reduced the amount of baking powder. Here's the recipe:

Cupcake recipe:

280 grams of self-raising flour

3/4 teaspoon of baking powder

2 tablespoons (30 grams) of cocoa powder

2 bottles of red food coloring

110 grams of butter

300 grams of sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence

240 ml of buttermilk (made by mixing 240 ml of milk + 1 teaspoon of vinegar and left for 5 minutes)

1 teaspoon of vinegar

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1) Sift self-raising flour and baking powder. I warn you this will get messy :D

2) In other bowl, mix cocoa powder and red coloring to form a paste. I reduced the red coloring to 1 and 1/2 bottles only (the lesser the better, coloring is not good for health >_<). Looks like melted chocolate due to the yellow light (xde lampu putih kat tempat buat kek ni) but it's actually quite reddish.

3) Beat butter and sugar until they mix thoroughly. Add eggs, beat, add vanilla essence, beat, add cocoa paste (made before), beat.

4) Add 1/3 of flour into the mix, beat, add 1/2 of buttermilk, beat, add another 1/3 of flour, beat, add the other half of buttermilk, beat, add the last 1/3 of flour, beat.

5) In a small bowl, mix baking soda and vinegar together. It will fizz. Add to batter and beat.

6) Put the batter into small cups. Make it 1/2 of the cup. Don't put it until full, the cake will rise and spill.

7) Pre-heat the oven to 175°C for 2 minutes and bake the cupcakes for 18 minutes. The bigger the size of the cupcakes, the longer time is needed. Here I used 42 mm cups.

So here is the baked cupcakes!

Leave it to cool for about 15 minutes before you can decorate it with frosting or the frosting will melt. So now I'm going to tell you how to make the frosting. I'm using buttercream frosting recipe from bestcupcakerecipes and I modified a bit here and there. Here we go!:

Buttercream frosting recipe:

100 grams of butter

300 grams of icing sugar (DO NOT use regular sugar)

60 ml of milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence

Any coloring (optional)

1) Beat butter until it becomes light, paler in color, creamy.

2) Add icing sugar a few at a time while beating.

3) Add milk and vanilla essence.

4) The frosting will be yellowish tan (like the color of Staphylococcus aureus colony ROFL). I put 1 drop of pink coloring.

Now it's time to decorate the cupcakes. Voila!!

*editted*

Good luck and toodles!

Happy holiday! Semester break

2011-04-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

Direct to the point, I'm 99.9% sure I won't be getting the GRF scholarship next semester. Like seriously. Not that I'm being pessimistic, but from what I've done all this semester I knew it doesn't worth a scholarship. Goodbye CGPA 4.00!

Okay my supervisor asked me to take 2 classes in this 1st semester: advanced statistical analysis and colloquium in plant protection. One of the subjects I hated the most while I was doing my degree in USM was biostatistics, and yet here I am taking an ADVANCED statistics. God bless me the lecturer who teaches the course is one of the most kind-hearted lecturer I've ever met, especially on our last class today. We had a group presentation where the class was divided into 4 groups and each representative has 10 minutes to present followed by 5 minutes of Q&A. He did ask some questions (which most of them were answered and explained by the man himself) and make some comments. The sweet part was he gave each group 9 out of 10 marks just because the slide shows were beautiful! Okay I think he made up the reason but nevermind, the more important thing is he's so damn nice! Oh oh, we had 2 tests (open book, mind you) and he did many great things like discussing on how to solve the questions (he even said "this is not a test, this is an exercise"), bringing candies for us, extending the time limit (from 2 hours to 4 hours) just because we couldn't finish the tests on time, aaaaaaaaaaand helping those students who got poor results below 70. He asked us who get marks below 70 to meet him personally in his office to have like a tutorial session for a couple of minutes and voila! he marked up the mark to 70. I feel touched :') Yeah obviously I was one of them who got below 70 hahahahahaha. For so many times he extended the duedate of assignments submission. And today, he treated the whole class teatime in the warung opposite our faculty. Belanja 40+ pelajar makan minum sih. I pray to God agar Dr. dimurahkan rezeki atas kebaikan Dr. pada saya. Terima kasih banyak2 yang x terhingga T__T Oh my I rambled too much, I actually want to say about something else >__< My point is I'm so lem*** in statistics even open book tests pun xleh jawab. Now how am I going to excel in a close book examination on 4th of May nanti?? Da la 10 kali x pergi kelas padahal amik kedatangan and kedatangan sumbang percentage jugak around 10%. Hurrrr!!!

Next is colloquium in plant protection. It's more to discussion with no test/examination. We had like 12 students in the class and each week there were different lecturers and post-post-grads presenting topics and we have to discuss with them. Our grade will be based on 3 things: involvement in class, term paper, proposal presentation. Since I'm an extremely passive girl (I'm not kidding -__-) I didn't open my mouth AT ALL except during my proposal presentation. And my proposal presentation was gahhhhhh!! I don't bloody know what I did and what I'm doing!! >__< Biotype? Ecotype? RFLP? RAPD? What? What? *sigh* The worst part of all is I still haven't submit the term paper which duedate was last Friday. The lecturer warned us she'd deduct marks of those who submit later than last Friday. And tomorrow is Friday. Let me calculate for you, I'm late for 7-bloody-days yo!!!! Shit.

I know I'm not supposed to let it be like this. Kita wajib berusaha. Saya juga berusaha. It's just that I rather do it slow and steady than jeopardizing my mental health. I'm coaxing myself, if I push myself too hard to finish all the things on time, I'd end up being in depression. Hence why I don't want to think much of duedates, marks deduction and whatnots. I knew how bad it is to be in depression; I was depressed when I was in Cameron Highlands. Seriously it was really bad that my relationships with my family, friends, colleagues tore apart for quite some time. I don't want it to happen again. I know I'm destroying the hope of getting fund for next and next semesters. Tapi rezeki Tuhan ada di mana2. Bukan apa, my previous results in high school, matriculation, USM memang sama ada teruk or cukup2 makan. Tapi alhamdulillah Tuhan murahkan rezeki. I wrote about this 3 years ago CLICK HERE. Bila baca balik rasa sedikit optimistik pulak hahahaha. Oh well~ whatever happens I won't give up. Cause I have my besties here wiiiiiiiii~ :D Hwaiting Rynn! Merangkak2 nak siapkan proposal, research semua tu xpe, janji kerja tetap jalan. Yush!

Semester break sudah bermula sampai bulan September! Selamat bercuti~

Toodles~

Rynn baked vanilla cake

2011-04-18T22:57:00.001+08:00

Yesterday my brother asked for my help to bake a vanilla cake for him. Terharu lagi T__T minta tolong kakak buatkan kek padahal boleh je beli kat kedai. He wanted to celebrate his girlfriend's birthday (today 18th of April). So sweet bagi homemade cake kat girlfriend :')

It was my first time baking a cake, a real cake, not cupcakes. Dengan ingredients x cukup and xde pan yang sesuai. We have a round pan but the bottom surface x rata so susah nak put one layer of cake on top of another. We use buttercream frosting in between the layers and all over the cake.

For me kek tu x menjadi although adik i and girlfriend dia kata sedap -__- okay I'm too judgemental. I x makan pun kek tu sebab x suka vanilla cake. But then I didn't like the texture of it. Not spongy enough. The recipe needed cake flour and all-purpose flour but we only have self-raising flour and regular wheat flour at home. Cari cake flour and all-purpose flour kat Central Mart and MyMydin tapi xde. Oh well guna je la apa yang ada kat rumah. Nak pegi hypermarket x sempat sebab da pukul 9 lebih. My mistake was I excluded baking powder. X masukkan sebab self-raising flour is all-purpose flour with salt and baking powder, hence why I skipped putting in baking powder. But after the cake was baked, seemed like it's not spongy enough. And I used regular wheat flour instead of cake flour too. The difference is cake flour has less gluten in it and therefore the product would be lebih ringan, lebih 'naik', x padat and spongier. Bahaya betul x bereksperimen dulu before bagi kat orang ~_~

Oh and once again the frosting x jadi. Hahahaha. Patutnya guna powdered/icing sugar tapi I used regular sugar. Hampeh T__T patut la gula x hancur2 -__- So the frosting x menjadi fluffy as it is supposed to be.

Oh oh by the way, one of Rachu's colleague said "mengidam nak makan red velvet your girlfriend" to Rachu. Yayy!!! Double terharu! Ni yang tambah berkobar2 semangat nak bake red velvet lagi ni. And other cakes as well! Tomorrow (19th of April) is my grandma's birthday yang ke-81. My mom asked me to bake a cake for her. My grandma loves chocolate cake. She loves chocolate souffle a lot sampai mintak recipe and ajak I buat souffle sama2 dengan dia sebab dia nak belajar. Triple terharu! So I'm coming home this Friday and misi membuat kek dengan banyaknya bermula!

Toodles~

Rynn baked red velvet cupcakes

2011-04-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

I made the table quite messy but nevermind. Muahahaha. Bagi kat beberapa orang untuk try and diorang cakap sedap! Rasa terharu seriously :') I just need to add more frosting and it'll be fine :D

Gambar ni diambil before they went into the oven.

Inilah keknya! Hahaha abaikan frosting tu sebab that was the 1st trial. Tersalah buat frosting so x cukup frosting. For the rest of the cupcakes semua dapat skit je frosting. Hahaha kasihan.

I read that most red velvet cupcakes use cream cheese frosting. Tapi I bayangkan kek perisa coklat and cheese, err~ macam x sesuai je. Yes red velvet is chocolate-flavored. Chocolate frosting? Nahh, kek da coklat xkan frosting nak coklat lagi. So pilihannya antara buttercream frosting and boiled frosting. I chose boiled frosting hehe. Pilihan yang tepat sebab sangat sesuai :D Tapi apakan daya xdapat banyak sebab masa boil sugar+water tu x cukup pekat. So in the end beaten egg whites ngan sugar syrup tu x bercampur sangat T__T

Nak try buat lagi for the 2nd time but not dalam masa terdekat. Red velvet guna red coloring and it's not good for health. Unless I can get my hands on beet juice. Baking tetap baking tapi health kena jaga. Hehe <3

Dear Diary, I'm talking to you

2011-04-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

Dugaan demi dugaan datang these days. Academic problem, financial problem, relationship problem. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just that I need to spill the feelings out before I get overly depressed. I feel like I’ve been troubling people around me and myself, A LOT.

I know I’m showing a very bad impression to my lecturers and classmates, to my supervisor especially. I even feel extremely disappointed in myself for not doing the best I can. I don’t bloody know where the heck my heart is and what I really want. Sometimes I doubt that my passion for knowledge is just superficial. As a subject of escapism, to escape from having responsibility of having a job, getting paid and balas jasa family. Apa kau ingat hidup kat dunia ni kerja goyang kaki ke Rynn bodoh!! Bila da stressed kerja, lari sambung blaja, ni da stressed sambung blaja nak buat apa pulak?!! Is it really I want to learn just because I want to escape from having responsibility? Isn’t learning a responsibility too? Why am I being picky about knowledge? I’ll strive for something I love to know, but I don’t bother much when it’s something I don’t really care. Sigh. Come on Rynn, knowledge is knowledge. And it’s a responsibility. Although you hate having a research project on weeds and prefer bacteria or fungus, deal with it. Don’t be a selfish prick. Remember how you dreamed of working in a lab dealing with biotechnology stuff but you ended up working in a field dealing with agriculture stuff? How the heck you suddenly have interest on plants?? Can’t you reminisce the smiles imprinted on the farmers’ faces after you helped them? The smiles carved on your ex-bosses and ex-colleagues when you did such an excellent job? The satisfaction of making everyone around you feel relieved and happy made you change your passion from biotechnology to agriculture. So now Rynn, you may have not realized yet. But one day you’ll learn that your research would help people (farmers) overcome their daily problems of weeds and herbicides. They would definitely feel grateful! Yeah I know it’s hard to imagine it and you need to see the joyful faces yourself. Just give it a try please. It’s okay if you can’t do your best. At least you manage to sort things out, keep yourself together and make it right. You don’t have to be a certificate-chaser just to prove that learning is your passion.

Oh well, I don’t want to go ranting on financial and relationship problems. My mind is somehow drifting away. I will talk to you again Diary.

Toodles~

I don't have a title in mind for this little rambling

2011-03-30T02:57:00.000+08:00

Can someone feel “threatened” when someone you like is looking forward to meet a group of people yet say nothing about you? Oww emm okay~

Entah la I don’t know why I’m like “jealous” bila dia ngan Arsenal compare to dia ngan perempuan lain. Maybe sebab I know laki ni no matter how much they love their partner, they would still see other girls although their hearts remain to the girls they love. Pendek kata loyal. At least for me it’s called loyal, but for other girls it’s called menggatal. Yela da ada awek tapi still nak keluar ngan perempuan lain. I don’t judge a boy’s loyalty based on dia ada keluar ngan perempuan lain or tidak, dia rapat ngan perempuan lain or tidak. For me, what’s inside is what matters. I love freedom I want to be able to be friends with whoever I like without him deciding it for me. So that’s why he gets the same too, his freedom. He can be with whoever he wants to be, as long as he knows the limits. I once had a guy friend whose girlfriend didn’t want us to be friends she even warned her bf to stay away from me. Well I knew it when she sent me a private message taunting me sarcastically. One day I sent him a message and he replied in a not nicely manner as he used to (as if I were a boy), but only after I replied with such disbelief he realized it was me. He changed my name on his contact list to a boy name in order to hide about us from his gf. We secretly met each other for a few times too. Even though he was seeing me behind her back, she’s the only girl for him. We know the limits. I have no feelings for him and he has none for me too. We just met because we wanted to meet, as friends. It might seem wrong to everyone else, why is he seeing me behind her back, such a playboy dishonest bla3. All I could say is when someone loves you so much, he would not fall for anyone else. This is where “trust” comes in. If the one I love is seeing other girl behind my back, I would not mind it, as long as I’m in his heart and he would not falter no matter how flirty the girl is. Because he should know that, if I meet my guy friends behind his back, he’s still the only one I want to be with.

But then in this case it’s different. It’s not about girls, it’s about a club. Beyond any doubt, Arsenal is in his heart, in fact before he even knew me. Kalau ada perempuan mengorat dia, masih x pasti lagi dia akan cair ke x pada perempuan tu. Tapi Arsenal ni da memang sah2 ada dalam hati dia. I don’t mind if he’s active with the club activities or keep posting how excited he is looking forward to hang out with them and such, BUT please please please don’t neglect me. Serius akan terasa. Apa kamu x teruja ke nak jumpa saya? Yes you pay attention to me too. But how come you can announce to the whole world about how you enjoy with them FREQUENTLY but NONE about me? Only after I told you, you realized. And those pictures of us together that you uploaded on FB. If I didn’t ask you to upload them, you would have no photo of me on your page I guess. Okay I’m being emotional now pifpif! Sorry.

I’m trying to be optimist but I can’t for now. It reminds me of playboys with their scandals you know. Senyap2 belakang2. You are kinda like them. Well not literally. I meant in term of the concept. When it comes to me it’s just between us. But when it comes to you and the club, you speak of it openly. You get what I mean? Don’t misunderstood me I don’t want all those lovey-dovey thingies nuh uh. Contohnya macam you meet me almost every week, and you meet them almost every week too. But you always post to them “nice meeting you guys” and so on and so forth but I never get “had fun meeting you today rynn”. Well you would say I don’t do it too. I don’t do it to anyone but you do it to them but not to me you see the difference? Gahhh this is overwhelming!!

Am I being mengada2? But I always mengada2 muahahahaha. Okay seriously, did I really have to rant about this. Sometimes I feel like I’m being a jerk. Make it always. I feel grateful you can accept me the way I am, bersabar dengan kerenah I. I wish I could be the best for you.

Toodles~

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.” - Calvin & Hobbes

2011-03-27T13:36:00.000+08:00

Guess what? I dreamed again last night hahaha. I keep dreaming these days. Started from that day when I dreamed of browsing on livescore.com, it's a football scores live update site by the way, and I saw 7-0 and 4-1. I didn't remember what teams. The next day Real Madrid defeated Malaga 7-0. Hahahaha. Not sure about 4-1. I don't follow other leagues than English Premier League. Knew about it only after Rachu notified me.

Oh I remembered Part II of yesterday's dream!! I was reading an sms from my ex-colleague who I worked with before. She said she would help me with finding the weed. Hahaha. My research project is on weed if you're wondering "why the heck weed?". She questioned me why I kept myself away from her and other ex-colleagues. I ended up explaining to her the reasons why and that was it, the end~ :D

Last night I dreamed of Rachu, again. I was reading The Star newspaper and on the last page there was 2 columns. The 1st column was about Arsenal Football Club Supporters of Malaysia missing Hafez (yes Hafez is Rachu :D) in the futsal tournament held by them. They expressed their sorrows for not having Hafez there. He had to pull out of the tournament and leave to Sungai Petani because his mother was ill. Indeed, Rachu is in Sungai Petani now and his mother is ill O_O May her mom get well soon. The 2nd column was about Arsene Wenger eyeing on "pemain United Perlis" and planning to sign him as an Arsenal player. Merepek gila. Wujud ke team nama United Perlis -____-"

Oh well that's all for today. Let's see if there's anything tonight. My goodness I didn't realized dreams can be entertaining! LOL.

Toodles~

Mimpi pelik dah macam dalam cerita Inception pulak -__-

2011-03-26T12:58:00.001+08:00

I can still reminisce the dream. There were like 3 different parts with totally different characters and scenes. Hahaha. Boleh pulak macam tu -_-". Okay so here we go:

PART I

I was browsing on FB while lying in my bed here in the hostel late at night. My latest post is of a video about a guy attempting to talk in 24 English accents. He didn't sound like attempting to do it, he nailed it! You guys should watch it memang informative yet funny gila :D Oh okay sambung balik. In my dream, there were several friends commenting on it and one of them was Mysa, although sebenarnya cuma Nadz sorang yg komen in reality. Mysa wrote a lengthy comment and she ended it with "sorry for the late reply, I'm currently in Ankara". I was like WTF you're in Turkey now?!!! Hahaha memang nak kena sekeh ngan supervisor la tu :P

PART II

Oh shoot!!!!!!!!! Tadi ingat sekarang da lupa plak. Damn~

PART III

Part yg paling panjang. I was with Rachu and Atin at that time and Atin was Rachu's sister walaupun sebenarnya dia adik Myra in real life O_O Lupa apa yg berlaku bila awal2 tu. Cuma ingat dengan jelas kami ada kat stesen KTM mana tah. And I told them I need to go somewhere for I-dunno-what-reason and come back as soon as possible. They waited for me there while I took a ride to the other station. Supposedly kena turun kat next station je and patah balik. But I was like drowsy and blur, da lepas banyak stesen baru teringat nak turun. Got off the train and followed the crowd and I noticed they were going straight to errr~ a combination of Universal Studios Singapore and Sunway Pyramid. I was expecting to you know masukkan tiket dalam mesin only then baru leh kuar dari stesen tu tapi kat sana memang xde mesin tu. Just go wherever you want to go. So I went back to the other way round. Baru la jumpa ticket counter. I asked a staff dari stesen mana saya datang. WTF mabuk ke apa time tu sampai dari stesen mana pun x ingat haih. I described the place to her. Oh ya! Stesen yg Rachu and Atin tunggu kat situ memang pelik. It was underground and almost exactly the same like the Dhoby Ghaut MRT station kat Singapore except smaller, narrower, darker, creepier. Rasa macam ada dekat ghetto mana tah with the surrounding people were like alien-infected like the ones in the movie yg Nicole Kidman berlakon tu. Haha. Okay back to where I was. I remembered looking at the train network map and read a station name "Permai Jaya" or "Damai Permai", tapi ada Permai2 la somewhere in between the station I was currently at and the station where Rachu and Atin were waiting for me. Wujud x kat dunia ni? O_O It was very crowded around the counter and they didn't queue up! Grrrr. While I was studying the map I felt someone grabbing my ass so I automatically shoved his hand away and when I looked back, there was a guy grinning at me followed by a big laugh with his friends. What a jerk! They walked away from me but not too far before I screamed "TOLONG! TOLONG!" it echoed in the station, grabbing everyones' attentions. Afraid, they ran away while being kicked for a few times by some guys who chased after them. I don't know if I have the courage to do that in real life hahaha. Okay then I learnt that the station I want to go was like the 4th station from here. So yeah I bought a ticket, berlari2 pegi naik train. I got on in the 2nd compartment if I'm not mistaken. Ada sorang nenek and 2 orang lelaki pertengahan tahun dalam compartment tu which I had no idea who they are. I didn't quite remember what happened next. Tapi macam ada babak2 letupan or rompakan je lol.

Well that was it. The end of the dream. I wonder if I would dream again tonight LOL.

Toodles~

I can’t just talk about myself all the time or this page would be full of narcissism right?

2011-03-26T02:38:00.002+08:00

So tonight I’m going to talk about someone else LOL WTH isn’t it obvious already -,- I had just finished browsing on Twitter and other social sites and guess what I came across? Dramas FTW :D Hahaha poyo macam x biasa lak ngan drama2 harian ni zzzzzz -__-" To keep it short, here’s a situation. Person A had issues with person B and spoke of it publicly and person B retaliated by condemning person A, publicly too. And person C thought it was just plain bad for person B to do that, saying people should just get on with their own lives instead of talking about others. Drama realiti boleh jadi complicated and memeningkan kepala walaupun asalnya hal remeh-temeh je pun. It makes me wonder macam mana boleh nasihat orang lain untuk jangan jaga tepi kain orang bila diri sendiri pun buat benda yg sama jugak. Like huhhh? Kritik person B for messing with person A’s life but at the same time dia sendiri secara x langsung da mess with person B. Ironic much? Well, I don’t have problem talking about other people, BUT with certain limitations. Here are some examples:

Geez~ these people love to make themselves look like fools pastu bersembunyi di sebalik perkataan “trolling” WTF!

Bodoh gila ***** nak tunjuk pandai kat blog ******** tu post komen tah hape2, “trolling” konon WTF!

So, which one you prefer? The 1^st one or the 2^nd one? I would definitely go for the 1^st one LOL, but I would also write like the 2^nd one only if the mentioned name has access to read it. Kalau nak mengumpat, it is suggested to do it privately, or xyah mengumpat lagi bagus. SMS ke private message ke chat ke call ke instead of post it for the world to know. I refuse to think it is such a desperate call for your “buttbuddies” attentions and whatnots but it really come close to it no? But oh well, different people different mindsets. I can’t go against them when they have the opposite opinions. Respect individuality. As long as I’m not included in any of the dramas or it doesn’t get on my nerves then it’s okay. I’ll just sigh and let it go. Can’t deny dramas make this world interesting *getting ready with popcorns* go on now~

P/S: random - waaaa~ da lama gila x blogging sampai da x reti nak blogging @__@ got so used to FB messaging and BBM that I tend to tulis ayat pendek2 LOL.

Toodles~

Eyes vs Lips

2011-03-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

Which one you like to accentuate more with make up? Eyes or lips? I had tried both and here are the pictures for comparison.

EYES

Toner: Apple Cider Vinegar

Moisturizer: Olive Oil

Sunblock: Sunplay Powdery White SPF47

Foundations: ZA 2-way Foundation in shade #22 (powder)

Eyeliner: Elianto Stay On Liquid Eyeliner in 02 Dark Brown

Fake Eyelashes from The Lash Bar

Mascara: Maybelline Volum' Express Hypercurl in Very Black

Brown Eyebrow Pencil

Lip balm: Palmer's Cocoa Butter

LIPS

Toner: Apple Cider Vinegar

Moisturizer: Olive Oil

Sunblock: Sunplay Powdery White SPF47

Foundations: ZA 2-way Foundation in shade #22 (powder)

Lip balm: Palmer's Cocoa Butter

Lip gloss: Elianto Glamour Lip Shine in shade #08

Personally I prefer to accentuate the lips. It brightens the look! Makes me look younger and fresh :D

I have small "sepet" eyes. Too much eye make up makes my eyes looks droopy. Plus, pale lips worsen the look it makes me look lifeless and dull T____T

I don't wear much make ups now. Just foundations (powder), lip balm and lip gloss with the basic toner, moisturizer and sunblock. To paint a good picture you need a clean canvas; to get a beautiful look you need a healthy skin. Therefore I'm focusing on getting healthy beautiful skin. So far so good da xde masalah jerawat and blackheads. Just some old acne scars and blocked pores. The new skincare routine works well! muahahaha~

Toodles~

In the depths of despair..

2010-12-04T18:29:00.000+08:00

Quite a night last night.. was driving alone dari Serdang ke Sungai Buloh.. and as usual i will get lost on my way back home setiap kali drive malam2.. even though i've been using the same route countless of times, still tetap sesat jugak most of the times.. but last night was even worse.. dengan duit ada RM20 je dalam tangan, xde duit lagi dalam bank, almost empty fuel tank and useless phone sebab xleh guna untuk contact sesapa pun (due to xde duit nak bayar phone bill oleh itu kena bar).. nak dekat RM10 bayar duit tol saja.. dalam otak da fikir bukan2 what if the car stops suddenly in the middle of the road bila minyak da betul2 kering.. gila panic.. and i only thought of one name at that time.. i was thinking of Rachu.. maybe he is someone that i can count on when i am in this kind of dire situation, or maybe he is someone that worth more than just a true friend, i'm not sure myself.. orang kata when we are in desperate condition, we'll think of someone or something yang kita harapkan sangat2.. oh well, let's see what will happen next.. thank goodness though i arrived home safe and sound.. too exhausted i fell asleep right away once i was in the bed.. phew~

Toodles~

S'agapo agapi mou~ (translate this :D)

2010-11-19T09:13:00.000+08:00

I'm into foreign languages. As you can see I use mix of Malay and English in my daily conversation, and sometimes other foreign languages depending on whom I talk to. One of the reason why I play international online games only~ hehe. I can meet new friends from all over the world and learn their languages while I brush up my English skill.

Don't feel bad if you're not good in English. It's not something to be ashamed of. I met someone who needs Rosetta Stone to translate simple English into Spanish for her to understand. To chat and to translate at the same time is quite tedious. I'm pretty impressed by her effort and courage. Yeah like what if they bash her with "OMG you're so dumb I can't understand what you're talking about". Seriously if anything like this happens in front of me I'll definitely scold the person. Instead of degrading someone why not work the brain a little bit more and try to understand what they are trying to say. Tsk3. I knew someone who asked my friend's brother to be a mediator in a trading deal just because she couldn't converse in English well enough. Not good, not good. Well, you can't be friends with those who speak the same language as you only. You'll have limited friends. So there you go, just give it a try and be confident and voila! you'll be comfortable at it ^_^

Somehow I find Malaysian guys who talk in English hot. Hahahaha. As long as it is honest and straight forward though. Bombastic vocabulary and grand grammar might show arrogance of the person speaking. I said "might" cause I may be right, or wrong. Hehe. Hmmm~ but how about foreign guys? It would be a bonus if they can speak some Malay if they want to flirt with me lol. Same reason again, I would feel flattered by their extra effort to do some translation. By the way, since I started playing in a private server RO a year ago, I've met a lot of new friends from several countries, especially Philippines and learned some Tagalog, Spanish, Greek and Dutch :D :D
LOVE IT!!

Toodles~

Siggy Wiggy

2010-11-01T22:51:00.001+08:00

YAYY my 1st siggy! ^_^

My 1st attempt at making a siggy.. miahahaha.. amik masa 2 jam nak siapkan gila lama.. guna karakter Raspberyl daripada Disgaea 3.. saya memang suka gila game Disgaea ni try la main memang best.. and Raspberyl lak warna fuchsia, one of my favourite colors selain purple and white.. banyak lagi benda nak kena improve especially text yang kelam itu hahaha.. x reti nak buat neon text, bab2 art ni saya memang fail T___T

One more thing, x reti nak adjust header bagi dia centre.. x jumpa nak klik kat mana.. nak edit guna html codes lak x reti.. amik je Minor in Computer Science masa kat USM dulu tapi C++ ke mana html ke mana semua da lupa -.-" satgi gatal tangan modify terus KO lak >.<

Toodles~

Good Girl Gone Bored

2010-10-30T02:22:00.000+08:00

Penniless and dull define the situation I'm in now~

Terperap dalam rumah doing nothing except playing RO, DotA, makan, tidur and ummm~ I can't think of anything else (which shows really how dreary my current life is.. sigh~).. lack of money limits activities that I can do.. no more shopping, dining out at Sakae Sushi every weekend, binging on Famous Amos cookies, ice-blended chocolate, splurging on facial masks and other stuffs in Watsons, gahhhhh!!! T___T

Hahaha gila teruk.. ditambah pulak ngan sleeping disorder.. yush~ I'm nocturnal :D :D

So now here's the plan, for tonight.. for every night starting from tonight if possible.. I am going to read a book YAYY!! I have 2 books that I planned to re-read and finish reading it :D

The 1st one would be Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger.. I loooooove chick lit genre like Shopaholic series and etc.. forgot when I bought this book exactly but it was soon after I watched The Devil Wears Prada.. oh ya, beli buku ni masa 3rd semester kat USM just before industrial training started.. masa tu memang agak bosan nothing to do so I finished reading this novel in 3 days hahaha~ nak baca balik kali ni dengan penuh penghayatan :D

The 2nd book is Hope by Lesley Pearse.. x baca habis lagi sebabnya busy and asyik letih tidur awal je masa kat Cameron Highlands.. not a chick lit genre but more to drama.. oh I love drama too cause yeah our lives are full of dramas rawr~ and of course the synopsis sounds interesting to me ^_^

Okie now time to get messy tee~hee~

Gonna apply my favourite yummy Montagne Jeunesse Chocolate Mud Masque, read a book and listen to repeating Sungha Jung version of Time After Time (*.*)

Toodles~

Do what you gotta do

2010-10-29T04:01:00.000+08:00

They say you're a flirt when you're being too friendly with everyone..

So what are you going to do now?
Be cold and stuck up?

You know by doing that, you're not being yourself..

I say, I don't care..

Just take it as a joke and get along with it..

Feels appreciated though tee~hee~ ^_^

Not going to tear my relationship with someone apart just because someone feels uneasy about it..

Will try my best to pay attention to all so there are no hard feelings or anyone feel left out..

Okie?

Talking about flirt, this quote made me laugh out loud:

"More serious than your ex and love you more than your next, that's me" - Panda

Hahahahahahaha :D :D

Toodles~

Rolls on the bed gleefully ^_^

2010-10-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

Loooooooooooooooool

Saya dan L sudah berbaik kembali weeeeeeeeee~~~

Masa untuk tidur, selamat malam~

Toodles~

Semua orang pun racist

2010-10-07T01:35:00.001+08:00

Said my friend, agreed by others including me~

Cuma orang tu sedar atau x, nak mengaku atau x je~

Hmmm~ reminds me of someone who claimed himself an agnostic but ada keluarkan remarks such as "burn a mosque" and yet also remarks like “happy hanukkah my Jewish friends”.. greeting is approving (the existence of something) – approving Judaism – which is a religion.. is that what you called agnostic? doesn't seems like it to me.. seems more to being an anti-ex-religion.. let me recall, hmm~ agnostic is being in the middle of accepting and refuting the existence of God.. but you, the so-called "agnostic", accepts the existence of God in Judaism but refutes the existence of God in Islam.. I wonder why~

It was on 24th of December 2009 8:29am when I sent him the message questioning his belief, and up until now I have not yet received a reply.. maybe you think my questions were stupid, or I was stupid, and whatnot.. or maybe you don't have the answer.. well well~

You claimed yourself an agnostic?

-.-"

Mentaliti bodoh

2010-10-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

Ask me for password to view this image

I hate this kind of mentality.. hmm~ DESPISE suits even better! first of all, kenapa nak stereotaipkan x pandai cakap English as kekampungan? yang x pandai cakap English semua orang kampung? orang bandar je reti cakap English? that's not fair to judge "orang kampung" like what you did.. don't standardize anything ikut suka hati please ~_~

Secondly, it has nothing to do with pride, for fuck's sakes!! what the hell is wrong with you?? refuse to speak English semata2 sebab nak naikkan bahasa ibunda? it's like refusing to learn any other language other than Malay.. oleh itu, bahasa Arab macam mana? lebih rela jadi jahil for the sakes of your massive ego? O_O! cakap pasal bahasa penjajah yeah yeah zaman dulu memang banyak colonization.. ada negara2 yang pernah dijajah empayar atas nama untuk menyebarkan Islam.. so does that mean mereka x patut belajar bahasa Arab untuk mendalami agama Islam just because ia "bahasa penjajah"? -.-"

Take a deep breath and spill it!

2010-09-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I have waited for so long.. maybe I didn't have the courage.. maybe I tried to hint to him how hurt my feelings was.. time passed by so quick, enough is enough I have to say what I have to say..

In his last message, he told me he sensed that I kinda fall for him.. so he did those things in order for me to not get hurt as I know how he is with girls.. I really appreciate it, truthfully.. I feel touched he wants to protect me from getting hurt, but how dejecting, it was for a mistaken reason (u.u)

Here is my simply-written reply:

"I understand why you assume I love you. Because I called you darling and be too friendly with you right? I always do that to my close friends who won't fall in love with me, like you, Hawt and Jordy. But I will be strict and don't joke like that to someone who loves me, like Lupin. If not, he will think I love him, although I don't love him. It's like lying.

When you ignore me, you hurt my feelings. Because you didn't explain. You explained after you hurt my feelings, so it's too late. But I'm okay now. I won't talk to you as much as before. Because my writing will just hurt your eyes."

Phew~

Cheer up Rynn! you succeeded in breaking your defensive wall down.. everything will be okay ^_^

Toodles~

Friggin' gorgeous girl!

2010-09-27T18:22:00.000+08:00

*drools over Jessica Stam*

Be strong

2010-09-25T14:34:00.000+08:00

I met a special friend on RO.. I love talking to him, he's always there to reply though most of the times he annoys me but I don't mind cause I enjoy annoying him too.. naughty naughty Rynn.. he is a good listener so whenever I have problems, I will go to him for comfort.. I don't mind much about the essence of the advice, I just want someone to be there for me, I am talking about the presence here.. and when he advices me, he only concerns about me.. I don't like it when someone talks much about themselves when the problem is about me O_O

Yes I like him but that does not mean I'm in love with him, for goodness sakes! why in the world would I fall in love with someone who has 3 girlfriends?? and he's like 4 years younger than me.. it's just I feel like I'm a spoiled little girl when I talk to him.. is it too hard to understand?? maybe I'm being selfish cause I need constant attention but that's what girls are all about isn't it?

They said he spoiled me too much when he always reply to me.. so that's why I get sad when he replies late or nonsense thing.. they even questioned why should he gives me too much attention when we don't have commitment to each other.. I was like...friends are supposed to be there for each other, it is something that is not just for lovers O_O are you kidding me?

I don't understand.. am I too childish and spoiled? and why is it when someone is being too close with the opposite sex, they are said to have feelings for their friends? my goodness, I have NO intention of looking for a boyfriend, I let him find me..

I have so much things to say to him, but my massive ego won't let me.. come on Rynn don't be childish.. why did you delete him on Facebook and push him away? he already gave you an explanation on why he did those things to you.. a good explanation.. you should not make him wait cause you hate to wait for someone to reply right? go go go Rynn~!!!

So much to write yet so little time

2010-09-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

I don't have as much time to type as before, since I don't own a laptop anymore.. I resigned from my job 2 weeks ago and oleh itu phone and laptop pun da pulangkan kat company.. don't worry, saya da beli phone baru so if anything you can contact me - same number - or you can contact me on Facebook.. as for the reason, all I can say is I can't handle the stress and people bossing me around, though truthfully I love the job.. naughty naughty Rynn ish too rebellious teehee~

So now I'm looking forward to get a Masters degree in UPM.. wish me luck.. well, saya rasa sangat lega and excited.. hear me scream "FREEDOM!!!" miahahaha.. dalam hati sedih jugak sebab ada ex-boss yang sangat2 baik hati and pengalaman bekerja yang awesome dalam company tu..I wish you all the best, don't forget about me ^_^

Toodles~

O_O!

2010-06-25T23:37:00.004+08:00

Yare yare~

It's been awhile eh.. now that i da berhenti main game RO *cry*, i'm officially a blogger (again).. i quit playing to concentrate on my work.. it was a great experience.. made new friends from all over the world and x lupa juga berhadapan ngan kerenah2 yang pelbagai memang memeningkan otak kekadang (>.<)

I'll miss you guys badly, you know who you are.. especially you my crazy ex-hubby! :P

Time to sleep - my pillows are chanting my name already.. they want me to cuddle them =3

Gotta wake up early for MIHAS tomorrow.. i have no idea what it would be like.. Pameran Halal mesti banyak makan2 kan? uuuu~ janji dapat jumpa kawan and makan sudah.. miahahaha :D

On Sunday i'm planning to buy a camera.. a compact one.. siapa rekemen suh beli SLR or DSLR memang nak kena sekeh laju2! i nak yang praktikal leh bawa masuk farm and tangkap gambar fungus etc.. xmau yang besar gedabak x muat masuk beg comel i, xmau yang quite fancy sebab i pakai lasak satgi calar skit teriak plak, mau yang bila zoom gambar x pecah, and finally(!) kalau boleh (I SAID KALAU BOLEH) nak kamera warna purple =3

(u.u)

And since i am a camera idiot, kena la bawa orang lain yang expert in this.. if not i'll end up tercengang sampai pukul 9 malam pun x habis pikir lagi nak beli yang mana satu.. right.. ohh! aaaaaaaaaaaand i have a good news! my boss bought me a Blackberry!! though i'm a big fan of Sony Ericsson, rezeki jangan ditolak sih.. sangat2 thankful to God, and to my boss, and seriously i feel touched.. makes me want to work even harder.. it's the main reason why i quit RO too.. weeeeeeeeee~

Ohs gotta sleep NOW..

Toodles~

Hi everybody~

2010-01-31T23:10:00.001+08:00

Miss me? hahahahaha..

It's been ages since i last wrote a post here.. here goes a fast update:

1) I always got sick these days.. have been taking a few days of emergency leaves in a month! first, my foot had been bitten by a red ant and swollen.. second, food poisoning.. third, a skin disease that initially the doctor suspected i have diabetes.. thank God, my blood sugar level result denied it.. in the end the doctor concluded that the genes might have cause it - inherited through maternal bloodline.. my grandma and my grandma's in UK have the same disease - Pemphigus, i think.. but mine is not Pemphigus, one thing for sure.. it's just my wounds and cuts (what else scars) take a very very long time to heal.. oh yeah, and also the itchy2-thingy.. even a bloody mosquito bite leaves me with scar.. sigh~ so the doctor advised me to be fully clothed (long sleeves, socks, shoes etc) for extra protection so that i won't get hurt, not to involve in extreme activities and eat a lot fruits and vegetable.. i don't know much about myself, SERIOUSLY.. at first i thought the healing process takes a very long time for me because i have low blood counts, meaning i don't much blood.. and now this??? i don't know what future coming things to expect..

2) I lose my appetite, and my weight.. now my weight is just 40 kg, which is bloody terrible when i should be around 49 kg.. my height is 156 cm FYI.. i'm sick of hearing "nape xnak makan, diet ke??"!!! diet kepala hotak.. i need my appetite back ASAP! T_T

3) Family relationship: Good
   Friends relationship: Good
   Love relationship: Good
   Job-related relationship: So-so

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional..

2010-01-24T12:55:00.000+08:00

I may be in pain now; but i choose NOT to suffer..

Sakit otak..

2010-01-21T23:21:00.001+08:00

Rasa nak telan 16 biji aspirin dan tidur sampai lusa........

Did we just broke up? Yes? No?

2010-01-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

"You are right.. even his phone is silent, he should call or sms you to make sure you are okay.. you must be really sick if you stayed at home from work.. and my God, you're all alone! so a little care from your boyfriend can comfort you.. did he apologize to you Sunshine? i'm so sad if such a sweet couple breaks up because of this.. i hope he'll realize his bad mistake and take better care of my Sunshine in future"

"Damn! he always shows his ego at the beginning of a fight.. he follows the same pattern.. tomorrow he'll regret and feel sorry but he won't know how to make it right.. but i know he loves you sooo much.. it's just he can never admit he made a mistake.. please don't give up on him Sunshine.. he really loves you.. he just needs to learn to admit he's wrong"

"i know how you feel.. it's so painful to wait to settle the fight.. it just makes the suffering go on and on.. it's not fair that you have to go through this every time.. he needs to realize that when he's finally ready to come to you, maybe you won't be waiting anymore.. oh it's so sad.. how can he hurt you when you are so sick"

You really understand me Moonlight - and that's why i love you so much! i won't give up on him, but, he tends to keep me waiting.. and you're right, maybe one day i won't be waiting for him anymore if he keeps doing like this.. it's torturing.. if only he understands *sigh*

Apa yang penting?

2010-01-19T01:34:00.003+08:00

F: Xpe ke awak keluar ngan saya ni?
Rynn comel: Xpe..
F: Boyfriend awak x marah ke nanti?
Rynn comel: X.. nak marah sebab apa plak?
F: Mana la tau.. jeles..
Rynn comel: Xla.. dia xkan jeles punya..
F: X jeles maknanya x sayang..
Rynn comel: ........ (-.-")

Since when jealousy is love?

For me, that's not LOVE, that's OBSESSION.. emotionally obsessed with someone that you incidentally control them and restraint their freedom like a puppet.. ya, bila sedang bercinta, pasangan anda MILIK anda but that doesn't mean you own them WHOLLY.. geez~

I give what i want.. seperti mana saya nak dia terima saya berkawan rapat dengan kawan2 laki saya, saya pun terima dia berkawan rapat dengan kawan2 perempuan dia.. x perlu nak cemburu buta.. the most fundamental yet important thing in a relationship is trust.. and also honesty.. orang selalu cakap, jangan percaya sangat pasangan walaupun da berkapel.. kalau x percaya xpayah taruh harapan nak bersama.. buang masa je.. what's the point of having relationship with someone that you can't even have faith in them? you're supposed to be comfortable with your loved one, not feeling insecure and full of doubts most of the time.. how can you live with that?

So,
I don't mind if my boyfriend has his ex-girlfriend's photos in his computer and handphone..
I don't mind if my boyfriend hangs out with his girl friends more frequent than with me..
I don't mind if my boyfriend is sooo close to the girls like they are BFF..

As long as,
He has more photos of me and me the one that painted to his heart.. looove~
He always keep in touch with me so that i know he remembers me all the time and i don't feel left behind..
He adopts me as his number one girl plus his best BFF ever! hehe~

And the list goes on..

P/S: Macam keluar berdua je padahal x.. Nadz pun ada skali time tu.. hahaha~

Akibatnya, cuti 2 hari..

2010-01-12T23:25:00.001+08:00

Hanya kerana seekor semut merah..

I need a box of aspirin..

2010-01-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

No, i'm doing fine.. x sakit kepala mahupun demam..
Doing good except my feet swelled cause i have been stung by a red ant.. i'm allergic to stings T_T

Different story.
I sent G an sms,

"Hai hantu"

..and he called me and we talked like the incident never happened.. at least i know he was sincere :)

I don't want anyone else but you~~~

2010-01-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

We fight a lot, we argue a lot, we LOVE each other A LOT too.. hikhik *giggles*

The conflict was over now - thank God.. the key was to put our ego down and discuss like grown-ups who are about to get married - and not like kindergarten kids who got lost in a zoo.. okay whatever..

No wonder la the fight got dragged too long.. masing2 kecik hati.. bila masing2 kecik hati, sape yang nak kena pujuk? so majuk la dua2 berpanjangan, bagus.. and all because of an itsy-bitsy misunderstanding.. i hurt his feelings and he hurt mine.. he needs time to cool down but i always want to settle things at the very moment.. the longer it drags, the crazier i'll be.. and you should know what will happen when i throw a tantrum.. it will be one bloody big MESS - cause i fucking hate waiting.. i long for you to pujuk me oh can't you see.. cause i'm truly madly deeply in love with you~~

By the way, why the love feels so much sweeter after the war ends? ^_^

Love love love love love~~~

Don't say it's OK cause it's fucking NOT OK..

2010-01-06T16:11:00.001+08:00

It has been hard days for me lately - truly emotional.. everything seems to be out of place.. berendam air mata setiap hari memang memeritkan.. i can't stand it anymore.. when is this going to stop?

I cried when Mael said he's my sandal and that i always use him whenever i wanna go out..
I cried when Nadz fell asleep and didn't reply my sms..
I cried myself to sleep every nights..
I cried at SIMPLE things that you people call STUPID things..

Yes, THAT sensitive.. because of you, G, my "happy mask" broke.. a mask that i'll wear when people piss me off - so that i can hide my anger and put a fake smile on my face.. i was struggling with my self confidence.. those who have met me knows what i'm talking about - and how terrible the problem is.. i'm having a skin problem on my face that looks like 'panau' but it is actually not.. my skin peeled - blotchy uneven skin color due to sunburn.. G made a joke bout it which i swear to God he sucked big time cause it ain't funny at all.. but God knows how PAINFUL it was - the joke.. and from that very moment, i have changed..

How i wish things would be good again.. i need you by my side - but our relationship is like a crap now.. you cakap i jadikan you tempat lepas geram x tentu pasal..

Have you forgotten that i share my sorrow AND my happiness with YOU?

I bukan cari you hanya bila ada masalah je.. i mengaku i terlepas geram kat you aritu.. like i explained before, mood i memang teruk AND I DIDN'T FUCKING JOKING.. you pun tau i memang suka bebel2 repot2 bising2 kat you x kira la bila i tengah marah ke tengah happy ke cause i anggap you lebih daripada setakat boyfriend..

And nampaknya dah silap..

Sekarang i da tau boyfriend is boyfriend and best friend is best friend.. boyfriend xleh jadi best friend.. so i hanya perlu cari you bila ada benda best je nak cite.. benda x best xyah ngadu kat you so xde la you terasa hati lagi.. da serik you salah anggap i cari you untuk lepaskan geram je.. so sekarang bila i nak lepas geram, i cari best friends i je.. diorang da tau nak handle camne.. da habis dengar i bebel2 keluar ikut telinga kanan, x simpan dalam hati.. i okay, diorg okay, you okay, semua pun okay..

I percaya pada setiap yang diberi, ada pulangannya.. i give what i get.. the more i share my sorrow, the more i share my happiness.. sebab tu la we are SUPER SUPER SUPER HAPPY when we are together..something that you can't have it whereas they already have it, for now..

So..
I'm sorry i hurt your feelings..
I hope you'll forgive me - cause i already forgave you..
I hope i'll forget you - cause you already forgot me..
So.... that's it now..
Thank you~

Cloudy days

2010-01-03T11:36:00.001+08:00

I am supposed to go out, yet i am not feeling like i want to go out.. i don't really have any idea when i'm going to shop, pay my phone bill, repair my PSP and eat sushi that i have been longing for for 2 weeks.. i just don't have that pumping energy anymore - i never thought i'll grow old this fast - oh, grow up Rynn!

These few weeks of hassle really sucked the juice out of me.. i am loaded with works and my responsibility is getting bigger and bigger.. it's okay, i always feel happy with my job - i do.. knowledge is my passion - not art nor bankroll.. the sensation of gaining knowledge through experience and guidance; the emotion of watching the growers happy faces as i lend my hands to help them when they experience problems; the feeling of inner joy as i accomplish my goals and fulfill their hopes - and my hopes too.. you know, farming is their source of finance.. no veggies to sell means no income.. it's heartbreaking whenever i see them having difficulty that may affect the whole families.. so no matter how hard it is - how much it will drain my energy and mess up my mind - i will try my best to help..

I don't think i would want to continue my study anymore - i have put my thought in it.. living life is also a learning experience.. learning is not just in schools.. if one day i would like to further my study, let it be because of my passion and Allah, and not for status, title, paycheck nor society's demand.. i decide what i want to do with my life.. obtaining Master and PhD degrees just to get higher salary and bigger job is sooo not my thing :)

Okay enough with my rambling about job - before i get too emotional.. hahahaha please don't misunderstand.. while i'm typing this, i'm thinking of G more and more.. why should i think of you? why is it after you broke me to tears last Wednesday, i still can't get you out of my head when i'm supposed to hate you now? i know i'm a bad hater - i hate to hate people.. but what you did was so insensitive.. no matter how thick a mask i put on my face - it cracked - and you didn't even help me to seal it.. darn you G!

Okay, now i have been emotional.. i'm sorry..